DM,
One thing that I ran into while going to a Christian therapist was the Once Saved Always Saved teachings. I was told that since my “Christian X” refused repentance, restitution, and reconciliation that he was clearly never a Christian. Therefore, X doesn’t ever have to do the “three R’s”, he just needs to really get Saved. Then he will be free to continue living in his sanctified affair-marriage.
One way or another the Christian church seems to find an easy out for not holding adulterers accountable for their sin. No wonder so faithful spouses feel re-victimized and abandoned by the church!
-Nyra
Dear Nyra,
As you may guess from the above meme, I have a very low opinion of the advice dispensed by said “Christian” therapist. The therapist was dispensing potty water advice, not living water.
While I agree with the therapist about doubting whether your X is a Christian based upon the lack of the three Rs, I do NOT agree with her contention that he only needs to be “saved” and need not later address the three Rs. That is not Biblical counsel.
In fact, I would argue the Bible teaches the EXACT OPPOSITE!
The genuineness of the conversion could be judged by evidence of the three Rs in my opinion. A true follower of Christ is not relieved of obligation to make their wrongs right to the best of their ability just because they are a recent convert.
Jesus encountered a sinner in Zacchaeus who promised restitution to whomever he cheated “fourfold” (see Luke 19:8). If what the therapist taught was true, we would expect Jesus to dissuade Zaccheaus from this promise.
Jesus does not (see Luke 19:9)!
In other words, the counsel dispensed by this “Christian” therapist is not consist with the Jesus of the Bible. That ought be reason enough to reject such words.
Also, the counsel is far too convenient for cheaters. I am pretty sure the therapist is basing the counsel off of a twisted application of 2 Corinthians 5:17. This verse teaches us that we are new creatures upon salvation.
But the context prior to this verse says:
And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
-2 Corinthians 5:15, NIV
I find it hard to believe a cheater is living for Christ if they do not feel the need to repent, make restitution, and reconcile–at least, as far as possible–with the one they so seriously wronged.
Absent evidence of those three Rs, I would say one would have serious reason to doubt whether the cheater is truly a “new creation.”
Well, I suspect I am “preaching to the choir” here to you, Nyra. However, I believe others who come here can benefit from having such potty water exposed for the utter disgusting waste it is.
Please, folks, pass on the potty water!
Blessings,
DM
Thanks DM.
I hope your response helps others as well! I know I would have benefited from your input this happened to me.