My football coaches didn’t hate me…
…but they did hold me accountable for my actions on the field.
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.
– 2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV
What strikes in the discussions about infidelity is how “radical” the idea of personal responsibility is treated. I have been characterized as angry for stating the obvious that my (now) ex-wife is fully responsible for her own choices and actions.
This is insane.
Of course, we are responsible for our own choices and actions. We are the ones making them ourselves, not someone else.
I never considered by football coaches angry, bitter, or in need of counseling for grading my performance on the football field and calling me out when I made errors. If I purposefully allowed a defensive lineman through to blindside the quarterback, I wouldn’t then blame the quarterback for my failure to do my job. That wouldn’t fly with my coaches.
Similarly, it does not fly here for people to blame faithful spouses for the infidelity committed against them.
God is going to hold each of us accountable for our choices and actions as Scripture teaches (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). Trying to blame someone else for those actions is not going to fly with Him, either!
It is not hateful to remind cheaters (and all of us, for that matter) of this spiritual truth. In fact, I would actually characterized it as “tough love” where I am giving them an opportunity to repent before it is too late–i.e. before they have to face God’s wrath over their willful sins.
“I never considered my football coaches angry, bitter, or in need of counseling for grading my performance on the football field and calling me out when I made errors.”
I don’t know…I’ve seen some coaches. Are you sure they don’t need counseling? Just kidding. It’s funny how we consider an angry coach calling someone out to be totally acceptable. After all, what a coach is dealing with is JUST a game. Yet, a spouse gets put at risk for STDs and some consider that person “angry” and “bitter” for calling a sin a sin. I had a hysterectomy at age 31 due to hpv, which I got from my ex. Others have gotten hpv, herpes and various other STDs while remaining totally faithful with zero previous partners as well. Yet, it’s like we’re supposed to be totally zen as we suffer. We are made in the image of a God who gets angry over sin. We get angry when we see others suffer. Why would we expect to avoid feeling anger when we suffer?