One of the most humiliating aspects of dealing with a cheater is this need to know.
If a cheater is unwilling to submit to STD tests, then you have your answer as to how repentant they are–i.e. not at all. It is rather low hanging fruit–so to speak–for a cheater to provide scientifically verified assurance that the health of the faithful spouse is not in danger because of their cheating.
Plus, if your pastor or counselor is not aware of this danger–of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from the cheater–then they are not really qualified to help you. Their naivete–or willful blindness–is a serious liability for the faithful partner.
Public Service Announcement:
Get STD tested!
I care too much for my readers to NOT tell you this. Yes, it stinks to have to do this. However, a prudent faithful spouse will do this. It is worth knowing either way.
So, find a good, qualified medical provider and get it done for yourself (even if the cheater will not). It is too important NOT to do!
Its very humiliating but completely necessary as many STD’s are dormant. It can fester and turn into cancer worse case. This alone was a wake up call for me to do this and accept this is what his activities over our lifetime together had come down to. Protect yourself and don’t believe one word from the cheater that “nothing” happened. My xh didn’t care who he had relations with and jeopardized my life and health while I had 3 children to raise. No respect!!
And there are treatments and surgeries if something like hpv is positive. I had std tests done, which came out clean, yet several years later I found out I had the high risk strain of hpv and that it was on the last stage of being pre-cancerous cells before it turns into cancer. I’m not sure they can really tell with that one if it’s dormant and there’s no reliable test for hpv in men. It’s always a good idea to go to the doctor and get regular checkups for this reason.
So interesting when you share your general practioner with your adulterous ex-wife. He wanted to know why I needed STD testing. I said I had discovered that she had been sleeping with multiple partners over a period of time. I wondered if he was checking off the boxes about why she was getting antidepressants and other drugs from him. Maybe some lights came on?
Get tested!