PTSD and adultery from expert, Dr. Kevin Skinner

Dr. Kevin Skinner is an American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) supervisor who does research in the area of sexual betrayal.

Here is his biography.

His research into the matter of sexual betrayal has led him to the conclusion such betrayal leads to PTSD for many of its victims. He talks about being surprised by this discovery as he only suspected such for war, accident, or rape victims.

This “discovery” does not shock me as it merely confirms the ancient spiritual truth that adultery is soul rape!

While I generally  appreciate what he shares in his talk, I find some things disturbing (and sadly typical) in what he shares:

For example, his coaching for pastors(!!!) is to simply offer to be there for the faithful spouse. That response is too weak. 

I had a pastor offer to be there for me like he suggests. It was not the most helpful response. The response easily devolves into a neutral position on the matter of adultery.

Also, a pastor ought to condemn sexual infidelity. I do not think a victim can truly heal until the injustice is acknowledged as seen. A pastor just offering to “be there” for the victim is not enough.

The victim–i.e. the faithful spouse–needs to hear the abuse of them was wrong, and they did not deserve such treatment as no one deserves to be soul raped.

Another interesting thing to note is how this speaker is invited by religious denominations to train them on this subject. This is yet another example of ministers outsourcing to mental health professionals.

I continue to blog and write my book to address this subject as a pastor and adultery survivor. That professional voice and personal perspective is desperately needed on this subject matter!