Rev. Bill Hybels of the megachurch fame is in the news. He is the latest of those touched–whether justly or unjustly–by the #MeToo era.
I am not going to go into the blow by blow of the situation. You can read the details of the story from Chicago Tribune (here) and Christianity Today (here).
The basics are:
An affair was alleged that was later retracted by the woman alleging the affair. Several women have alleged other sexually inappropriate encounters or interactions with Hybels.
The church did an investigation into the allegations and cleared Rev. Bill Hybels of wrongdoing. They are treating this as a conspiracy to destroy Hybels good reputation (click here to read their statement).
I hope the allegations are entirely false as Hybels claims and the church asserts.
However, I have my doubts reading both sides (Chicago Tribune article and the church’s statement). There’s a lot of “smoke” if nothing else.
What jumped out at me from the Chicago Tribune article was Boz Tchividjian’s assessment of the initial investigation. Boz Tchividjian is a respected law professor and the executive director for GRACE [Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment].
The article states:
Tchividjian later outlined for Fowler what he viewed as deficiencies in Willow Creek church’s earlier handling of the Hybels situation, calling it a “cursory examination of Pastor Hybels’ electronic devices, finances and travel records,”
Tchividjian said [the two couples] would participate in [the] investigation only if it was, in their view, “thorough, objective, and independent.”
Obviously, Tchividjian is implying the previous investigation (and how the new one was proceeding) was NOT objective and independent.
In fact, the church statement affirms this concern by laying out the “demands” those raising these concerns had for another investigation. To quote from that statement, the couples wanting a better investigation allegedly laid out this condition:
The investigation reports would all be public regardless of the outcome.
This “demand” is important to keep an institution honest. Knowledge is power. If the people have to go through the leaders to find out the results, that gives the leaders the power to spin the results to their benefit and control the narrative.
Finally, one more thing jumped out at me from the Chicago Tribune article.
Even though the woman retracted her statement about having an affair with Hybels, the article stated Hybels and this woman had exchanged 1,150 emails that were unreadable to the investigating elder at the church.
Unless the number of emails exchanged is completely false (1,150!), I would hope the elders are not so naive as to consider that as no big deal.
I would point out that this high volume of email exchanges is not addressed in the church’s statement directly as far as I can tell. Such a high volume of emails is suggestive of some sort of intense relationship–whether legitimately for work or otherwise.
As I stated at the beginning of this article, I hope Rev. Bill Hybels is telling the truth and Willow Creek Church leadership are right about this being unfounded accusations.
However, I am not a naive pastor.
-When a respected expert on such investigations (Boz Tchividjian) is not satisfied by the church’s investigation and offers constructive criticism that seems not have been taken, a wise person takes notice. Was objective results the real investigative motive or was it damage control?
-When 1,150 emails were reportedly exchanged between a woman who later retracted her affair allegation regarding Rev. Bill Hybels (also consider: who has that sort of direct access to this celebrity pastor!), a survivor of an affair takes notice. The optics certainly do not look good.
Who knows?
It is possible this is simply a conspiracy to destroy Rev. Bill Hybels reputation as he and the elders allege. AND it is possible the evidence is being buried to avoid embarrassing truths.
He was an adviser to President Bill Clinton around the time of the Monica Lewinsky scandal? Or was President Clinton an adviser to Rev Bill Hybel?
Rev Hybel’s wife is a super chump, but she doesn’t know it. She’s been thoroughly lied to and gas lighted. I would not be the least bit surprised her gut/Holy Spirit has been talking to her in one way or another for a long time, but it’s very hard to listen and believe the truth sometimes. Especially when the truth doesn’t line up with who you think someone truly is — who they say they are — what their public persona says too.
I believe the women. Yes, I know there are women out there that want to take down a powerful man, but it seems they have usually want money or something else in return. These women seemed to keep what happened to them to themselves or people close to them. I’m sure it was very shocking to them to get propositioned from someone who they looked up to, respected and also worked for.
I had something happened to me close to 30 years ago and I’ve never told anyone until this day. And it will remain that way, because I’m anonymous here and I would never want to hurt my girlfriend. The day before her wedding day, we were at church for rehearsal. In the back of the church, with no one around of course. Her fiance spanked my bottom and made a suggestive comment about it. He just walked away laughing. He went up to his future bride like nothing happened. This man used to be my manager at a place we worked together. I respected him and looked up to him. I just kept quiet, because in a twisted way I felt like I did something wrong. And about 20 years later my friend said her husband had some type of inappropriate work charges against him. And she also mentioned him “giving rides to hookers”, because he’s such a “nice guy” ; I think he lied about a lot to her. He also told her that he never asked me out, because he was my manager. That was an outright lie as he did ask me out, but I said no because I didn’t like him like that. But I never told her the truth, because I didn’t want to hurt her. These snakes lie up a storm, but God……
Women usually don’t say anything, because they feel ashamed. Or they don’t want to lose their job. Or they don’t want to cause problems. Or they know no one will believe them. I never said anything about my ex, because I didn’t want to say anything bad about him to anyone. I thought we could solve our problems on our own. I did that for over 20 years. And when I finally told the truth, the church still took the lying adulterers side because he’s such a “nice guy” and I’m sure my ex was telling lies to them too about me. Plus I’m sure the fact we gave about $12,000 a year to the church helped a lot, as why in the world would a pastor want to give up that chunk of change that helps keeps things running?! Better to “love” the adulterer and lie to and make the faithful spouse feel like they are going crazy by everything going on. The “crazy” faithful spouse doesn’t contribute much to the pastors paycheck!
Just like I told my now ex-husband and my ex-pastor, “God has seen it all.” And just like you said in your post yesterday, Divorce Minister — “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -Matthew 12:36-37, NIV ” I think Bill Hybel’s is lying, but it doesn’t matter what I think or anyone thinks. All that matters is what God knows and what God thinks. I hang onto these Bible verses you share to us faithful spouses, because they are like a lifesaver being tossed out to me when I’m mad at the injustice of what happened. All the 24 years worth of lies and cheating. All the lies told about me. All the lies my ex-pastor told. Everything my ex-husband has gotten away with. God will take care of it in the end. I don’t know how, but he will and it will be perfect justice, because God is perfect, holy and good.
A couple of thoughts:
1150 emails is a lot and the fact that they can’t be seen is suspicious. I’ve had to email pastors back and forth a few times when volunteering to help with stuff at church. But nowhere near 1150 emails! Plus, I tend to keep emails and could gladly show they’re innocent…
Accusing a pastor of an affair makes the possible affair partner look bad as well, whether it’s true or false. Why would a woman want to put herself through all that if the accusation is false?