Friends, pastors, and counselors can be valuable resources; however…

….you will ultimately be the one who has to live with your decision about your marriage and answer for it before God (see 2 Cor 5:10).

One of my mistakes in my marriage’s dissolution years ago was allowing far too many people into the inner sanctum of that experience. By turning to all these people in the way I did, I was seeking validation and support.

To say that I did not always get validation and support from some of those invited inside would be an understatement.

I would recommend being choosy in who you let “in the know.” 

Remember, too, that they are not living your life, and they do not get to make decisions for you unless you give them that power.

Sometimes, as I found, you will need to cut ties with some who may end up co-opted by the cheater or those who feel the “need” to maintain “neutrality” on cheating abuse. It is sad, but part of the awful reality of walking through the disaster known as infidelity discovery and divorce. Some do not make “the cut.”

As they say, “hindsight is 20/20.” Learn from my mistakes.

 

 

_____
*A version of this post ran previously.