In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
-Matthew 23:28, NIV
Dealing with a religious cheater and religious supporters of said cheater results in a master’s class in spiritual abuse tactics and religious manipulations.
The lessons I have learned from this master class is what has inspired this blog. They are many. The reason they are many is a result of the many ways faithful spouses are spiritually abused and manipulated.
It is important that we are not unwise to these tactics.
For example, ignoring the infidelity and pretending it never happened is not the same thing as biblical forgiveness. It is denial. This does no good for either party in a spiritual sense.
However, how many of us were told to focus on other things–like our “own part”–as opposed to dealing with the infidelity matter directly requiring it to stop immediately and restitution to commence?
Telling us to focus on our “own part” is worldly “wisdom.” It looks nice on the outside and makes no uncomfortable demands on the cheater. However, spiritual death is on the inside of this “house” of advice.
I think some of the most painful experiences with marital infidelity are the betrayals by the religious community of the faithful spouse.
The one place where faithful spouses ought to find support is yet another place they find themselves abused and silenced. It is a tragedy and not how God intended His Church to be.
I know I am grateful for the Christians in my life through this who embodied God’s kindness and truth for me. My hope is this is a place that can be such for you, faithful spouse, as you weather your own master’s class.
