23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
-Psalm 139:23-24, KJV
A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior.
Please do your best to resist this temptation!
You only control YOU! It is futile–and not good for your own well-being–to focus on what you do NOT control–i.e. the cheater.
I think this is a manifestation of grief. We want to have some control over our loses.
But we don’t have that control. Control is an illusion. A cruel one at that!
The Bible is clear that we own our own behavior and decisions (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). That means we do NOT own another person’s.
This temptation is acute, too, when kids are involved. Who wouldn’t want to protect one’s kids from the disaster that is the cheater and their poor choices?!
But we do NOT control this.
This is reality.
Focus upon investing in yourself and making good choices for you (and your kids). This will bare much better “fruit” than giving into the natural temptation to attempt to control a disordered cheater.
