“You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,
With a single strand of your necklace.”-Song of Songs 4:9, NASB
These words better fit my second wedding day than my first. It should have been a clear warning to me of upcoming events.
The day Mrs. DM and I got married we were full of smiles and laughter so thrilled to finally begin our official life together. We had decided to wait until I had a firm job offer before we set our nuptials. I wanted to be sure that we had a solid place to live together as a family, which necessitated a job offer for me.
The offer came, townhouse rented, we married and honeymooned. All of this within one month’s time. It was crazy and very different than my first wedding experience.
As the ten year anniversary of that first wedding draws near, I reflect on those two truly radically different wedding days.
The first was a big happening! Friends and family flew in from literally around the globe.
The second was more about us as a couple. We did not wait to gather everyone and make sure their schedules fit ours.
The first was far more expensive. Rented suits, food, photographs, videos, etc. Still cheap as far as weddings go registering in the $10,000 range.
The second wedding was very inexpensive and simple. I called up a dear minister friend last minute to officiate, and the biggest expense probably was the photographer hired to document the day. Mrs. DM and I had even seriously considered eloping, but I couldn’t do that to my mother and did not want to signal to the world that we had anything to be ashamed of in getting married. So, we had a very intimate family gathering.
The first wedding a major theme or expectation was on me loving the dress and get up of my (now) ex-wife.
The second wedding was all about us and our new life starting together. And yes, Mrs. DM was gorgeous (proof in picture above).
These two weddings were vastly different. Shamefully, I struggle to remember my second wedding anniversary (in fact, Mrs and I both forgot the actual date last year until we were reminded) as it was never about a date but about our life together.
And that is how I think God wants marriage to be:
It is about the life He is giving us to have together and not about the pageantry of one day.
It is so nice to hear about lovely, simple weddings, like the one you and Mrs. DM had!
I was just on vacation with a relative at a lovely spot on one of the Great Lakes…and we were at the beach one evening when a wedding was taking place at the water’s edge just before sunset. Just a few dozen guests sitting on folding chairs.
The bride wore a lovely gown and carried flowers, as did her bridesmaids, yet all of the wedding party were in bare feet, including the groom and the pastor! Apparently, from what we could tell, there didn’t appear to be a formal reception as they were still all on the beach at 9pm.
As we watched everyone assemble on the beach, my relative and I exchanged thoughts…the most important thing is that the bride and groom go on to share life by being good to each other…and we also wondered why it was ever necessary to spend thousands of dollars when all a couple ever needs is a minister to marry them.
Unfortunately, many weddings today are obsessive, long-range planned productions on the level of a Broadway or Las Vegas show. Few couples seem to marry simply and modestly, within a few months of becoming engaged. Most are already living together anyway, yet still want a costly spectacle filled with vanity and materialism.