25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you.”
-Matthew 20:25-26a, NIV
Cheaters lie to hold power over faithful spouses.
“Knowledge is power” as the saying goes. This means Cheaters are careful to control who has knowledge. As long as they hold the secrets, they control the relationship. Faithful spouses are working off of partial information at best.
I believe this is why some Cheaters file for divorce once exposed. They’ve lost the power in the relationship. It is hard to play victim when your actions speak to the reality of being the aggressor–i.e. Cheater–in the marriage.
Some Cheaters cannot conceive of remaining in a marriage where they are not in control.
They perceive the relationship as a power struggle with one partner having more power than another. It is a purely worldly perspective, sadly, as Jesus’ own words illustrate.
This dynamic is why some may reject offers of forgiveness. They simply cannot conceive of someone willingly laying down their power once rightfully obtained. It is not something they would ever do willingly, and so, they doubt you ever would.
Count your blessings once divorced from such an individual. Their heart is very much planted in this carnal world!