You know the song: “Love and Marriage?”
As it applies to infidelity from what I hear and know, I think it could be rewritten with the lyrics…
“Booze and cheating, booze and cheating…”
Alcohol can impair judgment.
But I do not buy the cheater excuse that the “alcohol made me do it.” They never ought to be have been in such a situation where they could end up committing adultery in the first place.
The alcohol did NOT force them to go to the bar.
The alcohol did NOT force them to drink it.
The alcohol did NOT plant the idea in their minds to commit adultery.
And the alcohol certainly did not force them to lie to their spouses afterwards!
Cheaters chose these things.
Besides, I still believe Jesus when he tells us that our words and actions come from the overflow of our hearts (e.g. Mark 7:21-23). That includes when one has a had a few drinks.
If the idea to cheat wasn’t already there…
Remember what Jesus said:
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” -Luke 6:45, NLT
It is not an alcohol problem, it is a HEART problem.
Now, I understand addiction is real. But that is still not an excuse for someone to be abusive to another as all cheaters to their faithful spouse by virtue of cheating.
Get help.
I will say it again:
Having a substance abuse problem does not excuse adultery.
At least, I do not see the Bible anywhere saying committing adultery is excusable as long as one is drunk doing it.
It isn’t there.
The Bible does say, though, not to get drunk in the first place (see Ephesians 5:18).
Wow! Thanks DM. This one brought back memories of when I found out about X and the prostitutes.
He tried to paint himself as the victim.
1) “Each time there was a lot of alcohol involved”
2) “Naked women were everywhere: hanging on poles, and dancing behind sheets”
3) “Prostitutes where all over the place”
4) and of course — He always cried afterwards
He was speachless and gave me the blank stare, when I asked him why he was even there, and how he could spend all that money when we never had any! When he finally responded, he told me that he used ATMs. This revelation helped me put
several pieces of our puzzled life together. That included the realization that if he could borrow money to pay for sex — he’d have no problem taking someone up on it for free. When I made that comment to him, I froze & gave me the deer in the headlight stare (all the confirmation needed).
He didn’t like it that I was angry and demanding straight answers about other matters! When I asked him how he would feel if our positions where reversed, he said that he wished it was! YUK!!
I probably should have asked him to explai his response since he was talking, but I was so disgusted that I walked away! The thought of me doing the immoral and selfish things that he had done made me sick. I had asked him that to try to open his eyes to see how he hurt his family emotionally and financially for his selfish desires. I wanted him to want to change & get help, but rather than even apologize, his first thought is to wish that I had done those terrible things against God and my family!