“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.”
-Lying Cheater
This is a very dangerous lie. Sometimes the cheater says this, and sometimes, sadly, pastors or other counselors say this.
It is dangerous because it takes the focus off the most destructive behavior–namely, the adultery.
Clearly, we know this is a lie because God sees adultery as so problematic that He divorced Israel over it (see Jeremiah 3:8). It isn’t prohibited in the Ten Commandments for no reason, either.
What a cheater or counselor is doing is trying to take the focus off of the cheater’s behavior and avoid pressing the cheater to take responsibility for her active sins.
Instead, they would like to blame the abused party–namely, the faithful party. This is evil!
So, let’s translate this cheater-speak:
“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.”
-Lying Cheater
Translation:
“I do not have any problems with cheating, and only my perspective on our marriage matters. Yours doesn’t. God’s doesn’t.”
Any pastor giving such advice ought to be struck with the fear of God. They are treading on some very dangerous grounds.
Right!
I have, personally, received ungodly counseling from such a pastor who did it with an arrogant disposition. This is one experience that truly hurt me emotionally, and I will never forget it. Any pastor that purposely counsels married (or anyone) couples, with ungodly advice, need to be struck with the fear of God and severely disciplined. SMH!