“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and IF they repent, forgive them.”
-Luke 17:3b, NIV (Emphasis Mine)
IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
-I John 1:9, NKJV
AN IMPORTANT “IF”
When Christians encounter situations where marital infidelity has taken place, they seem to loose their common sense. Cries for the faithful spouse to “forgive” the cheater are loudly proclaimed without thought to the biblical conditions of godly forgiveness.
Pastors and other Christian leaders are quick to ignore the important “IF” in both these verses on forgiveness.
Jumping on the adultery victim to forgive is not following the biblical model of forgiveness. A true student of the Bible would know enough to pause first to ascertain whether or not the cheater has confessed and repented before even breathing a word about forgiveness.
That is what the “IF” in these two verses teach us. They tell us not to rush into so called “forgiveness” unless the condition of confession and repentance are not met.
Sadly, many faithful spouses will live out their existence without a full confession of the cheater’s sins against them. Thus, they will certainly not even get close to the cheater actually repenting.
The most these faithful spouses is entrust the hurt and wrongs to their ever-loving and just God for Him to handle as He sees fit.
“The most these faithful spouses is entrust the hurt and wrongs to their ever-loving and just God for Him to handle as He sees fit.” Amen!
And to me, that is the best I can do. Hand all of it. All 24 years of pathological lying, cheating emotionally and physically, the gaslighting, projecting of his behavior onto me, mind-games that made me feel crazy at times, and withholding of love, affection and time. And all of this was done to me by a Christian man. Jesus would never do this to me. So, I’m leaving it up to God to deal with all of it as He sees fit. I know my ex will never ever apologize or repent, because he lied and for sure emotionally cheated on me from the very start of our relationship. And he had a chance to tell the truth about it 20+ years later when I told him I knew the truth and he then told another lie to justify the true that I knew. He will lie and cover up his sin for the rest of his life, because he has to have everyone believe that he’s such a “nice guy”, honest and moral. That’s the type of person that God will deal with how He sees just. Amen and amen.