The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
-John 1:14, NIV
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
-Romans 12:15, KJV
Recently, empathy has encountered push back in some evangelical circles.
Some have gone as far as to call it a sin or otherwise treat it as morally perilous behavior (see here and here). These two authors are pastors and major leaders, too, within evangelical Christianity!
The first article is “The Enticing Sin of Empathy: How Satan Corrupts Through Compassion.” It is written by Joe Rigney, President of Bethlehem College & Seminary–which has John Piper as its Chancellor–plus pastor at Cities Church.
I find Rigney’s article profoundly disturbing.
As best I can tell, Rigney’s criticism of empathy essentially boils down to an assumption that the empathetic person fuses with the other person and loses the ability to reason by being empathetic. The preferred “Christian” mode of caring is “compassion” where the caring individual assesses how best to help the hurting other person.
This is a false dilemma.
You do not have to fuse with the other person to relate to their emotion in an empathetic way. Skilled pastors and trained chaplains relate emotionally with suffering people without emotionally fusing on a regular basis. In fact, this is a basic lesson taught to chaplains in their professional training (Clinical Pastoral Education).
Rigney is revealing deep ignorance here regarding excellence in basic pastoral care. A seasoned and well-trained spiritual care provider can spot this error from far away.
The second article is written by Kevin DeYoung who is the senior pastor at Christ Covenant Church and theology professor at Reformed Theological Seminary. His article is “What Does It Mean To Weep With Those Who Weep?”
Like Rigney, DeYoung decries people indiscriminately matching the emotions of others. The fear seems to be a fear of emotional fusion and uncritical affirmation of others’ feelings. He writes:
“No matter how genuine the rejoicing may be, Christians should not join with those who celebrate abortion or parade their sexual immorality or delight in racial prejudice. Instinctively, we know that the first half of Romans 12:15 means something like, ‘rejoice with those who have good, biblical reason to be rejoicing.'”
This quote gives me chills, and not in a good way.
Does his parishioners have to come with a good argument to why they are allowed to cry (or rejoice) before he will care for them? That is how those sentences sound to me.
By writing those sentences, DeYoung has made it clear that he believes he is to sit in judgment upon the suffering or rejoicing of others. Yikes!
I cannot think of a more scary thing than to have to pass your pastor’s judgment before he gives you support in your most vulnerable state. That sounds clinically cold. It strikes me as the opposite of being Christlike.
Empathy is NOT sin! It is godliness.
Jesus came IN the flesh. One could not be more in the emotions of humans than that! He is the very embodiment of empathy.
Did that mean Jesus was unable to use his reason while being in the human experience–emotions and all? No.
So, such a criticism of empathy is actually a criticism based on a fallacy in reasoning, ironically. DeYoung and Rigney are building a straw man argument about empathy where relating to another’s emotional state–i.e. joining them in their feelings–means giving up your critical-thinking ability. They misunderstand empathy.
Empathy is more costly than compassion. Yet Jesus chose the costlier option of the two. He came and suffered as a human. He did not keep his distance and judge on our sufferings.
Any pastor teaching empathy as sinful is waving a major red flag!
They are telling you upfront that they fundamentally misunderstand Jesus and the Gospel. Plus, they are warning you to expect judgment from them as the price for their “care.”
