Thou shalt not commit adultery.
-Exodus 20:14, KJV
Cheaters often use the same plays.
This is why I believe a dark spiritual element is evident in all cases of infidelity. The commonalities in behavior are too eerily alike to be just be coincidences. Some wicked force is coordinating this evil!
One thing I remember my (now) ex-wife doing years before the confirmed adulterous affair was encouraging me to welcome romantic/sexual attention from the opposite sex.
It struck me as a very odd encouragement at the time.
I did not make the connection back then–or quickly dismissed it–that such was what she was already doing. She was playing with fire!
To an admittedly significantly lesser degree, this was akin to a partner suggesting an open marriage. The request or encouragement suggested the relationship already was subject to being open.
She was already likely welcoming guys hitting on her romantically. I am convinced that such was her “drug” of choice.
Being hit on will happen. We do not control other people and their behaviors.
However, we do control how we respond to such behavior. We do control whether we wallow in and encourage this ego-boost or whether we treat it as the potential threat it is.
I recommend the later and not the former.
Concise but thoughtful post DM. That dopamine charge is what makes social media so dangerous, as it was for my wife. A nice picture gets a bunch of compliments, then a few selfies gets more. Next thing you’re taking numerous posed photos and selfies, pouty lips and bedroom eyes, then carefully selecting posts and getting tens or hundreds of compliments. Then you’re searching for others to see you, more “friends” are linking up including old acquaintances, old flames, etc.. You keeping moving the bar, pushing the envelope, then BOOM – lives destroyed. Very sad, but to some who live off that (narcissists), maybe it is worth it.
Exactly!!!
I was recently rereading the Little House on the Prairie Books, and I thought about how blissful a marriage would be without people sending each other booty shots on Instagram. I know that is extreme, but not by much. A recent conference of matrimonial lawyers stated that Facebook played a factor in most divorce now.
Social media may do some minimal good, but I wish it had not become so invasive. (Or even invented).
Your descriptive of the slippery slope of dopamine addiction is accurate and I believe ties in with DM’s dark spiritual element. It is a type of slavery. Imagine frantically seeking the approval of strangers/acquaintances for carefully staged selfies, as you described and being crest fallen when you do not receive the approval you want. It is a type of idolatry of the self.
I am certain that any relationship I have in the future must be ones that does not involve “selfies” and any FB use, unless it is something harmless, like recipe collection or sightings of Bigfoot. It may be stodgy, but I am okay with it.
I only thought about the ego boost with good response, not the disappointment when one doesn’t get the approval they seek. That could be worse for those that thrive on it. If I were looking again, I would avoid big FB users for a long-term relationship. Problem is mine developed it 25 years into marriage, trying to return to her youth.