Cheaters have no shame.

So, it is no surprise that some Cheaters will use therapy* ideas to further attack the faithful spouse. This is especially true in situations where you have a bad therapist or pastor.

In other words, some are so disordered that they will take tools discovered in the counseling session to further mess with the faithful spouse. This is why discerning the perspective of the pastor or therapist early is important.

Are they up to the task? Will they risk “scaring” a Cheater away if that means refusing to let the Cheater blame-shift?

Sometimes going to counseling can do more damage than it helps. The Cheater goes to further “justify” their sins. And the faithful spouse leaves more emotionally and spiritually beat up than if they had never gone.

Nothing justifies cheating on your spouse.

Once it comes out that your spouse cheated–emotionally or physically–that is the only message that needs attention. Clearly, somehow the Cheater lost sight of this truth. They need a godly lifeline calling them back to righteousness.

What they do NOT need is a therapist picking apart the “flaws” of their partner and thereby reinforcing the lie that cheating is somehow not their fault!

That is a sure way to ensure a setback in repentance. After all, how can you repent of something that wasn’t really your fault (which is major lie in these situations)?

 

 

 

 

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*This is not mental health treatment. I recommend finding a qualified provider in your area who is not clueless about personality disorders and betrayal trauma.