Bill Hybels Fiasco and the Power of Image

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.”

-Matthew 23:27, NIV

Reverend Bill Hybels and the Power of Image

When we talk about cheaters–and I believe the women accusing Bill Hybels of cheating on his wife abusively using them–we need to understand cheaters are usually very adept at managing their image with outsiders.

To be clear, Bill Hybels certainly would understand the power of image and optics as a church leader who brought secular business principles to bear in the church world.

Back to talking about cheater behavior:

Cheaters exploit trust and carefully cultivate an image useful in obtaining their desires without suffering the consequences when those desires are morally forbidden.

These people live double lives. Some are able to keep those double lives going for months and others are able to keep them going for years before, if ever, anyone discovers such a nasty double life!

I believe this dynamic was at play in what happened at Willow Creek Church with Reverend Bill Hybels.

Faithful spouses are often confronted with accusations about how we “should have known” by outsiders trying to assign blame unjustly to us for the abuse we endured. The reason we do not “know” is that we trusted our cheaters and believed the image they cultivated.

If cheating evidence showed itself to us, we discounted it based upon the image the cheater was presenting to us because we trusted them.

This is the dynamic I see at play with Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Church. He capitalized on the power of his image, in my opinion, to keep people in the dark about his sinful double life (“allegedly”).

Who would dare suspect a beloved, successful senior pastor who literally wrote a book on character (Who You Are When No One’s Looking)?!

This is why I tend to believe Lee Strobel when he tweeted that he had no idea about Bill Hybels’ behavior during his tenure at Willow Creek Church.

Maybe Lee Strobel heard some things and simply discounted them unconsciously due to the image Bill Hybels projected. I don’t know. That said, I am convinced this sort of information discounting happens all the time within the circle of friends with cheaters in general.

Personally, I am willing to extend grace to those who were unaware of the serious sins of a cheater. I was duped for a time myself; so, I understand these sort of things happen.

However, friends become former friends when they are alerted to the misbehavior and act as if nothing happened.

When the alleged sins of a hidden double life are highlighted–as they were by the accusers to the elders and lead pastors at WCC–the person(s) receiving this information becomes accountable for their response afterwards.

This is why it was just for the elders and lead pastors at Willow Creek Church to step down. Their initial response to those accusations was awful. Godly leadership demanded a different response than what they gave, in my opinion.

Cheaters and abusers are good at manipulation. They understand the power of image control and exploit it. Some are better at this nasty “game” than others.

This is why it does not surprise me that Bill Hybels “allegedly” has a history extending back to the 1980s. Here is a leader who obviously understood the power of image and harnessed that power, in my opinion, for not altogether holy ends.

 

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-Pastor David aka Divorce Minister