God is a just judge,
And God is angry with the wicked every day.-Psalm 7:11, NKJV
Christians are quick to judge faithful spouses as “bitter” without pausing to consider another–more likely–origin of such strong anger:
Injustice.
To be angry at injustice is a good and godly response to have. It is not “bitterness” but what God calls His people to be–a people who fight for justice and against injustice.
Part of the reason faithful spouses remain angry so long is that the injustices they experience do not end but continue to impact them.
Anger from those experiences is not a “bitterness” thing.
Much like the blunt instrument of “God hates divorce,” Christians who write off angry faithful spouses as “bitter” are signalling an unwillingness to address real injustices.
Plus, assuming the faithful spouse is bitter because he or she is still angry is NOT a charitable judgment.
Is it possible the angry faithful spouse is bitter? Yes.
However, that is not always the case.
Sometimes the faithful spouse is dealing with the consequences of living in a world filled with injustices foisted upon them by their cheater and cohorts. This is true even years after the infidelity or divorce.
To label such angry faithful spouses “bitter” is to kick them while they are down.
A much more compassionate and godly response is to seek to understand the world as the faithful spouse sees it. Ask yourself:
What injustices might be behind the anger here?
That is a far kinder and charitable way to approach faithful spouse anger.
Thanks for this, DM. I have struggled so much with how people just don’t understand what it is like to be in our shoes. Yes my divorce was several years ago but the injustice continues as I share parenting with my ex and the affair partner.