If the cheater blames you for their emotional affair…
…be aware that they will have no problem blaming you for a physical affair, too!
This is one of the many reasons to take an emotional affairs seriously.
Once the cheater feels embolden to believe lies about emotional affairs–namely, they are not responsible for such sin–then consider that a dangerous step down the slippery slope to hell.
The sickening thing about this danger is how even Christian pastors and counselors might give them a shove down this dangerous slope. They may play along with the excuse that the emotional affair happened because of “marriage deficiencies.” This is wicked and ungodly advice.
Emotional affairs happen because someone–namely, the cheater–decided sin was acceptable.
Last time I checked, God only holds the actual sinner accountable for the sin. The reasons–also known as lies–for the cheater choosing sin do not matter. Those are just excuses made to sin.
Godly pastors and counselors rebuke sin; they do not coddle it.
A cheater rolling down the hill of blaming their spouse for emotionally inappropriate relationships is a cheater rolling down the hill of sinful entitlement. The last thing that they need is another push down that hill or encouragement in rolling in that direction.
Adultery is just a short distance away–if it has not already happened!
Beware of a spouse who blames their partner for their own sin of having an emotional affair! Their soul is in grave danger, indeed.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
Found this nugget of gold while reading Not “just friends” by Shirley Glass:
“……One of the challenges of discussing the events along the marital timeline is to do it without casting blame. It’s important to see what role each partner played in marital problems without holding the betrayed partner responsible for the affair. Contributing to marital problems is not the same as causing infidelity.”
It’s astonishing the cycle of forgiveness of things that went on and they feel like they have nothing to apologize for. It’s like they think they have every right to engage in what they did because they hold you responsible for everything wrong with the marriage.