It only takes one to end the marriage.
So often this fact is missed in the evangelical church. They teach as if both have a say in the marriage ending. That is simply not always the case.
Many have experienced the double trauma of being cheated on and then discarded by the cheater.
Without knowing (and sadly, sometimes with full knowledge), some Christians add salt to these wounds. They push the faithful spouse to accept responsibility for the divorce (and infidelity)–even though, both were chosen by another.
The Church needs to do better!
We need to understand this fact. Some people are divorced without having a say in the matter because divorce can happen with just one party deciding.
Even if it is for the “best” as it frees the faithful spouse from the cheater, it is still painful, and the faithful spouse does not deserve to be shamed for any of it.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
It is very painful. I am so grateful that he left when he did, and I wish he had left sooner. Still the rejection was horrible. It is humiliating to be left for a woman of low morals, and quite frankly not as attractive. I was left to wonder how horrid I must be that he preferred her. Yet I knew that I was good to him, and in fact pretty much devoted to him.
Yes he later made a couple calls to try and hoover, but by then I knew better, and I knew he was just trying to destabilize me again. I only talked to him to give me the chance to reject him; but it didn’t make up for the initial rejection.