Certain moments stay with us for a lifetime. They are seared into our memories in technicolor. I will never forget a walk I had near my old condominium in the city. While I was walking, I was talking on the phone with my now ex-wife. The walk and conversation are still with me today–over a … Continue reading “Seared Moments”
Category: Trauma of adultery
No Other Man Drama
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent. -Proverbs 6:29, NKJV My Cheater loved the fantasy of being central and fought over for her affections. I know this as that was the take away for her from watching the awful movie, “Fireproof.” The scene of the husband fighting … Continue reading “No Other Man Drama”
Worse… so much worse!
Worse… so much worse! I remember early in my first marriage’s ending how I was hoping it was “just” an emotional affair. The whole not taking emotional affairs seriously was a problem I was yet to reckon with personally. The reality is the cheating is usually MUCH worse than what we see in the initial … Continue reading “Worse… so much worse!”
Need to preach about righteous divorces
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Need to preach about righteous divorces”
The real choice
Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “The real choice”
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…”
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but you’ve got issues, too,” says false “friend.” You need to lose “friends” that respond in this sort of way to your infidelity trauma. They are not behaving as a friend. In fact, they are making things worse by equating your imperfections with a double-life of lies and … Continue reading ““Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…””
Souls are eternal, not marriages.
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls are eternal, not marriages.”
So cut off
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV This proverb is true for all genders as it comes to cheating. Cheaters have no shame. I was thinking about the phenomenon of Cheaters not connecting the dots as it comes to … Continue reading “So cut off”
But I did burn his evening meal…
“But I DID burn his evening meal,” says battered wife. What happens when your Cheater does actually touch on a real complaint about you? Most of us are rather introspective individuals as faithful spouses. We are probably painfully aware of our own faults and failures. So, it is especially disorienting in this time when your … Continue reading “But I did burn his evening meal…”
No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged”