Category: Trauma of adultery

Cheater Ingratitude

“She cheated on you? Well, did you take her for granted?” -Cruel, Cheater-Apologist Pastor What I find interesting about accusations about ingratitude is how they seem one-sided when a cheater is involved. The faithful spouse is fair game to be criticized for not showing enough gratitude for their spouse. This is doubly the case if … Continue reading “Cheater Ingratitude”

Detaching from their hypocritical ways

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” -Matthew 23:23, NIV Healing from Religious Hypocrites A major learning curve for … Continue reading “Detaching from their hypocritical ways”

PSA: Your second marriage is not doomed!

 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV I am deeply troubled by how acceptable it is within Christian leadership to use fear about divorce against faithful spouses. If you are like me, you have heard the terrifying … Continue reading “PSA: Your second marriage is not doomed!”

On Forgiveness: The Broken Vase Parable

Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “On Forgiveness: The Broken Vase Parable”

Entitled users

Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT Cheaters are entitled users. They bank on the faithful spouse trusting them to continue their deceptions without consequences (like a divorce and all that comes with that). In other words, they … Continue reading “Entitled users”

“Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie

The “Unmet Needs” Theory  Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading ““Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie”

Cheater Apologist: Well, are you without sin?!

“She has been cheating on me these last few months. I can’t stay married to her considering all of that,” says the faithful spouse. “Don’t be so hasty. After all, are you without sin?” says the cheater apologist. Such a response from a “Christian” cheater apologist is far from helpful. Not all sins have the … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: Well, are you without sin?!”

Unhelpful price for Christian “support”

Hate evil and love what is good;     turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies     will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “Unhelpful price for Christian “support””

No seductive lamb in that story!

4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come … Continue reading “No seductive lamb in that story!”