“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “God required changed actions!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse
The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. -Deuteronomy 28:13, NIV Why is divorce treated from the pulpit as worse than enduring unrepentant adultery in … Continue reading “Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse”
Yes, they could. They did!
20 My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. 21 His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. -Psalm 55:20-21, NIV The shock is real. You thought you were married to one person, and their behavior is revealing them to … Continue reading “Yes, they could. They did!”
Too trusting and naive
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” -I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Most of my fellow pastors are ill-equipped to handle situations where adultery is present. Seminary trains us … Continue reading “Too trusting and naive”
Vulnerability of being a Pastor Faithful Spouse
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. -I Timothy 3:2, 4, NIV Because divorce prejudice is real … Continue reading “Vulnerability of being a Pastor Faithful Spouse”
Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!
21 “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV A typical response from some folks about cheating is treating as a symptom of marriage problems. That … Continue reading “Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the [divorce] papers.” -Church Official After I had successfully defended my ministerial license with my now former denomination, I was forced to undergo a year of pastoral “care.” The official in charge of this year–knowing the awful details of my divorce–made a version of the above statement. If you did not … Continue reading ““Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.””
Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!
NIV1984 Righteous. This is the word used in the same sentence about a man choosing divorce in light of (assumed) adultery. The Bible has forever associated the word righteous with the choice to divorce. It is part of the Christmas story! God does not shame Joseph in this passage for deciding to divorce a pregnant … Continue reading “Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” says tearful Cheater. Notice what is missing in such a statement from a Cheater: -No mention of what they did being wrong. -No hint that they would not do it, again. -No remorse for your pain. They are trying to manage their own conscience and protect their image with … Continue reading ““I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line”
Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NIV Cheaters have a vested interest in having your agreement to their marriage ending narrative. If they have anything left of a conscience, they hope to alleviate the internal pain by getting your agreement to their narrative. Of course, this … Continue reading “Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative”