Walking in faith is hard!

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. -Hebrews 11:1, NASB Walking by faith is not easy. I think this is part of the reason doing so is so pleasing to God (Hebrews 11:6). He understands this is hard way to go. It takes discipline. -We have to discipline our spiritual senses to … Continue reading “Walking in faith is hard!”

You are praying for her? Right?

“You’re praying for her, right?” asks Concerned Christian. “Actually, I decided to follow the Apostle Paul’s example regarding Alexander in 2 Timothy as that seems more applicable to my situation,” replies Faithful Spouse. ___ You need to know that Alexander,the jeweler, has done me great harm. May our Lord give him what he deserves for all … Continue reading “You are praying for her? Right?”

Nearly Forty Percent!!!

“Almost 40% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.” -Bill Mills & Craig Parro. Finishing Well In Life & Ministry. Leadership Resources International, 2008, pp 14. This statistic about pastors or ministry leaders is from 2002 and was put out by Bill Bright, Campus Crusade’s founder. So, the data is a … Continue reading “Nearly Forty Percent!!!”

Do not commit adultery is a command!

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV I wonder how this commandment has become second fiddle to couples’ counseling “wisdom” for so many pastors. So much time goes into the “why” of the cheating and little time is spent on pointing out the willful nature of the sin. In other words, pastors can be … Continue reading “Do not commit adultery is a command!”

Owning or being owned by sin

For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT “Why did you choose to sin?” This is the question for the cheater. Until they understand the answer to this, they cannot repent. The … Continue reading “Owning or being owned by sin”

“Tell your family and friends to stop…”

“Tell your family and friends to stop telling [Cheater] to not divorce you,” says Cheater Supporter. My divorce happened because my Cheater chose it.* At the time, I was trying to dissuade her from what I considered an sinful divorce on her part. While I was still wishing to avoid divorce, a supporter of my … Continue reading ““Tell your family and friends to stop…””

Good intentions not enough

  “The road to Hell is paved… …with good intentions.” -A proverb This saying is a wise one to remember when dealing with the aftermath that comes following infidelity discovery. It applies both to the actual cheater and to those who profess they are only giving “care.” “I never intended to hurt you.” – Cheater … Continue reading “Good intentions not enough”

Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.

And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. -Matthew 5:41, NKJV In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. -Matthew 23:28, NIV When dealing with a “Christian” cheater, another level of complexity is placed on Christians … Continue reading “Pharisee or Enemy? Categories matter.”

Another Podcast Resource: “Therapy and Theology”

Recently, someone alerted me to an excellent podcast on infidelity discovery and betrayal trauma in general. It is Lysa TerKeurst’s podcast. Her podcast is “Therapy and Theology” and this particular season is Season 7 as they tackle to topic of betrayal. I listened to the first episode entitled “I’m Afraid I’m Being Betrayed” and found … Continue reading “Another Podcast Resource: “Therapy and Theology””

Temptation to write off all…

When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses.   I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “Temptation to write off all…”