“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Physical Affair vs Emotional Affair Both are cheating and awful for the faithful spouse. They both cause incredible damage to the to the point of destroying the very … Continue reading “The Physical”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Using cheating as manipulation
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Using cheating as manipulation”
Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!
“That might be YOUR truth, but that’s not my truth!” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people perceive them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not my truth!”
Loving darkness
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Loving darkness”
No other reason
“Why did you grab your contraception while I was away,” asks faithful spouse. “Oh, I was just grabbing things,” says Cheater. Cheaters might grab their contraception and then boldly lie about the why. There is only one reason to grab contraception–namely, to have sex. Cheater is having or is about to have sex with someone … Continue reading “No other reason”
Ridiculously weak responses
“I’m praying for you guys,” says well-meaning Christian “friend.” “But she is cheating on me,” exclaims faithful husband. “I don’t want to take sides,” says well-meaning Christian “friend.” This person is NOT a true friend. They were just informed about the cheating, and they punted on caring for the abused party. That is not friend … Continue reading “Ridiculously weak responses”
Prove to you? Really?!
I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine. -Song of Solomon 6:3a, NLT Prove to you? Really?! One of the biggest contrasts between my current marriage and my marriage to Cheater is how Mrs. DM treats me as the prize. I am not a means to something like I was with Cheater. This is … Continue reading “Prove to you? Really?!”
Walking in faith is hard!
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. -Hebrews 11:1, NASB Walking by faith is not easy. I think this is part of the reason doing so is so pleasing to God (Hebrews 11:6). He understands this is hard way to go. It takes discipline. -We have to discipline our spiritual senses to … Continue reading “Walking in faith is hard!”
You are praying for her? Right?
“You’re praying for her, right?” asks Concerned Christian. “Actually, I decided to follow the Apostle Paul’s example regarding Alexander in 2 Timothy as that seems more applicable to my situation,” replies Faithful Spouse. ___ You need to know that Alexander,the jeweler, has done me great harm. May our Lord give him what he deserves for all … Continue reading “You are praying for her? Right?”