“I don’t know who I am,” says Cheater. This statement is often accompanied by some sort of statement regarding being “trapped” in the marriage. They view the faithful spouse and the marriage as an obstacle to self discovery. The funny thing about this statement is how the Cheater is actually telling on herself. By saying … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I don’t know who I am.””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Not “an easy way out”
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Not “an easy way out””
That pursuit advice is trash.
“I know she cheated. But what you need to do is pursue her like Christ did His Bride, the Church,” says naive Christian leader. The pursuit advice is trash. In my opinion, the last thing a narcissistic adulteress needs is more suitors fawning over her. She does not need to be treated as the prize … Continue reading “That pursuit advice is trash.”
They minimize.
“She’s just a friend.” “It was only one kiss.” “I was drunk; it doesn’t mean anything.” Cheaters minimize. It is what they do. In fact, I think that is what we all do as sinners to some extent. We struggle to face the reality of our sins. The Enemy often uses this strategy to keep … Continue reading “They minimize.”
Unexpected Confessions
“You have more biblical reason to divorce me,” says (cheating) partner as mask slips. Sometimes, you might get an unexpected confession from your Cheater. The mask occasionally slips. How can it not at some point? It has to be exhausting keeping up their house of lies. Gaslighting takes some real effort. Double lives don’t “just … Continue reading “Unexpected Confessions”
Hardened their hearts
But Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also; neither would he let the people go. -Exodus 8:32, NKJV I do not know if it is demonic or simply human nature to harden one’s heart to God’s ways. Here in the story of the Exodus, it seems simply a human function. Some people will harden their … Continue reading “Hardened their hearts”
Burns, burns, burns.
For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. -Hebrews 10:30-31, NIV Cheaters may hate hearing God’s Word, because it convicts them of their sins. They hate the reminder of the … Continue reading “Burns, burns, burns.”
Took Effort!
She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “Took Effort!”
Deadened Conscience
Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. -I Timothy 4:2, NIV Deadened Conscience What some find utterly astounding is how Cheaters do not seemed bothered by some of the cruelest behaviors towards their spouses. They are often shameless in their contempt for the spouse of their … Continue reading “Deadened Conscience”
Need Strong Warning!
“Nice” does not work with someone who has doubled down on destruction. If someone is about to run off a cliff, we don’t worry about saying a “harsh” word but rather–those who care–shout to get them to stop running. That is loving. Quietly objecting is not. Someone who is cheating is stuck on the short-term. … Continue reading “Need Strong Warning!”