If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Cheater Rage Shield I wonder if you ever experienced your Cheater seeming to get angrier the less … Continue reading “Cheater Rage Shield”
Category: Anger
Three Channels of Abuser TV
Years ago, Chump Lady ran a post about how abusers operate. It is a vulgar version of Abuser TV (see post here). I have found it extremely helpful in decoding behavior of abusers in general. This includes Cheaters as well as others like spiritual abusers. I find understanding the three channel cycle is helpful in … Continue reading “Three Channels of Abuser TV”
That pursuit advice is trash.
“I know she cheated. But what you need to do is pursue her like Christ did His Bride, the Church,” says naive Christian leader. The pursuit advice is trash. In my opinion, the last thing a narcissistic adulteress needs is more suitors fawning over her. She does not need to be treated as the prize … Continue reading “That pursuit advice is trash.”
Hope Quote
I ran across this quote attributed to Augustine the other day as I was reading a book about dealing with serial bullies (Free Us From Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being Nice by Paul Coughlin). This quote struck me as very applicable to situations dealing with a cheater. These two things are good and “beautiful daughters” … Continue reading “Hope Quote”
Heavy, heavy foolishness
Carrying a log across your shoulders while you’re hefting a boulder with your arms Is nothing compared to the burden of putting up with a fool. -Proverbs 27:3, MSG You are in this situation because your Cheater stole from you what did not belong to them to give away. Sadly, this does not stop Cheaters … Continue reading “Heavy, heavy foolishness”
Arrogance of (former) in-laws!
16 There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, 18 a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, 19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family. -Proverbs 6:16-19, NLT I wonder how many of us, … Continue reading “Arrogance of (former) in-laws!”
Gonna go with that?!
“I was going to tell you, but I thought you’d get angry,” says Cheater. “You’re really going to blame me for your cheating and lying?” asks Faithful Spouse. Really, gonna go with that?! The sad thing is that we–faithful spouses–often let Cheaters off the hook. Of course, you cannot get angry or then you confirm … Continue reading “Gonna go with that?!”
Deny them that power!
If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack. -Proverbs 25:28, TPT Boy, this is a hard one to learn. Cheaters seemed skilled at needling their partner just where they are the most vulnerable. It might be over their “manhood” … Continue reading “Deny them that power!”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
God’s anger and love
But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth quaked and trembled. The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger. -Psalm 18:6-7, NLT Without anger, I do … Continue reading “God’s anger and love”