Cheaters often use anger as a way to avoid responsibility. You might have caught them red handed. Instead of repenting then and there, they turn on you with anger: -Maybe they blame you for “snooping” or otherwise invading their sacred privacy? -Maybe they use the occasion to say you forced them into this (sin)? -Maybe … Continue reading “Outrage of Cheaters”
Category: Anger
Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce
If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”
Assertive training not over!
When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. -Galatians 2:11, NIV If you are like me, one of the problems I brought to my first marriage was a lack of assertiveness. The temptation to become passive and then resentful was a cycle I found too easy to feed. I rarely … Continue reading “Assertive training not over!”
“Root of bitterness” manipulation
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness” manipulation”
Reacting to issues versus responding to issues
A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back. -Proverbs 29:11, NKJV I have little doubt cheaters have issues. They may even have some legitimate complaints about us, their spouses. However, these legitimate issues are not excuses to sin. God does not give us permission to sin. What many people get wrong with … Continue reading “Reacting to issues versus responding to issues”
Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid. That is why I lied to you.”
“I was afraid of your reaction. That is why I lied.” -Cheater Like a child who did wrong, a cheater sometimes feigns fear in order to avoid accountability.* They equate a righteous anger response with reason or justification to lie to the spouse they have wronged. It is not godly. It is another reason I … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid. That is why I lied to you.””
Today would have been our 14th anniversary
Fourteen years ago today, I married my cheater. It feels like a lifetime ago. We were young and naive. At least, I was naive. The experience of marrying a cheater took away a lot of my innocence and naivete. Honestly, it equipped me for my work today–i.e. working in a prison with manipulative individuals. God … Continue reading “Today would have been our 14th anniversary”
Is it bitterness or injustice driving this reaction?
God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Christians are quick to judge faithful spouses as “bitter” without pausing to consider another–more likely–origin of such strong anger: Injustice. To be angry at injustice is a good and godly response to have. It is not “bitterness” but … Continue reading “Is it bitterness or injustice driving this reaction?”
On an angry God
God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, KJV Do we really want to follow a deity that never gets angry? I do not think so. Such is a deity who is incapable of real love. Such is a deity unmoved by injustice. Such is a deity out … Continue reading “On an angry God”
Anger fades with time and work
God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. I will say that again: Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. When we do not feel angry over such injustice and wickedness, something is seriously wrong with our walk with the Lord. He is angry … Continue reading “Anger fades with time and work”