Category: Anger

Is it bitterness or injustice driving this reaction?

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Christians are quick to judge faithful spouses as “bitter” without pausing to consider another–more likely–origin of such strong anger: Injustice. To be angry at injustice is a good and godly response to have. It is not “bitterness” but … Continue reading “Is it bitterness or injustice driving this reaction?”

Anger fades with time and work

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. I will say  that again: Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. When we do not feel angry over such injustice and wickedness, something is seriously wrong with our walk with the Lord. He is angry … Continue reading “Anger fades with time and work”

Reminder to forgive really for whom?

 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Reminder to forgive really for whom?”

Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”

NOT hating adultery is sin!

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. -Romans 12:9b, NIV “If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT Hate gets such an undeserved reputation among Christians. Sometimes the right thing to do is to hate. Evil … Continue reading “NOT hating adultery is sin!”

Sometimes our spirits register wrongs

When I was attending counseling sessions with my ex, I remember feeling full of panic going to these lay counselors. The time with them was upsetting to put it mildly. I suspect my anger and fear–i.e. panic–were registering danger even though my head was unable to make sense of it in the moment. God has … Continue reading “Sometimes our spirits register wrongs”

“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you would get angry,” says Cheater.

“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.” -Cheater Let’s start to unpack this “gem” of a cheater-speak: 1. The cheater is aware that what he or she did might be upsetting to the faithful spouse, yet still did it. This is another reason why I am in the camp that cheaters have full knowledge … Continue reading ““I didn’t tell you, because I thought you would get angry,” says Cheater.”

Dispersed Anger

God is an honest judge.    He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Oddly enough, my anger was often directed to other bad actors in my divorce instead of the prime character–my (now) ex-wife. Certainly, I had good reason to feel angry towards those others. It was actually healthy to feel this feeling … Continue reading “Dispersed Anger”

Did you know God commands us to be angry!

Be angry, and do not sin. -Psalm 4:4a & Ephesians 4:26a, NKJV Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. -Ephesians 4:31, NKJV I purposefully placed these two verses together to highlight the confusion within evangelical Christianity as far as it comes to the emotion of … Continue reading “Did you know God commands us to be angry!”