Tantrums and cheater unhappiness

When a cheater is told “No,” they will likely get angry. They may even engage in a toddler tantrum. That is about their maturity level after all. An important lesson for faithful spouses to learn is how we are not responsible for how our cheater feels. We are responsible for our own emotions and actions … Continue reading “Tantrums and cheater unhappiness”

Relief of Acknowledgment

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV When going through adultery discovery, the validation of true friends is a balm to a hurting soul. Religious people are tempted to foist “forgiveness” on the grieving faithful spouse. They skip over the acknowledgement of the severe injustices the faithful … Continue reading “Relief of Acknowledgment”

DM Book Sale!

For a limited time, I have dropped prices on my book. Currently, I have dropped the paperback prices from $12.99 to $8.99. The eBook is now only $3.99 from its regular price of $7.99. As you purchase books, read, and share the ideas in the book, you are helping spread these much needed ideas. The … Continue reading “DM Book Sale!”

Faithful Spouses, let those cheaters be angry.

It is not your job to manage your spouse’s emotions. We must manage our own. God will call us to account for how we act, which is another way of saying how we manage our emotions (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). While I encourage you to allow your cheater to be upset, I want to be … Continue reading “Faithful Spouses, let those cheaters be angry.”

DM, Why do they still support the cheater?

Dear Divorce Minister, I was married to a minister for 21 years. I knew after a year of marriage that my marriage was over as he was cheating on me with a high school student. When I confronted him, the narcissistic abuse began and continued until he asked for a divorce after he got caught … Continue reading “DM, Why do they still support the cheater?”

Violation of Boundaries and Advice

After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. -Job 42:7, NIV Ever had that “friend” who got furious with you because you did not do whatever they told … Continue reading “Violation of Boundaries and Advice”

Justice and forgiveness

Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation.   But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t … Continue reading “Justice and forgiveness”

Thought Experiment: What if Hosea was an evangelical pastor?

“Plead with your mother, plead—     for she is not my wife,     and I am not her husband— that she put away her whoring from her face,     and her adultery from between her breasts, … For their mother has played the whore;     she who conceived them has acted shamefully.” -Hosea 2:2, 5a, NRSV Join me in … Continue reading “Thought Experiment: What if Hosea was an evangelical pastor?”