I don’t get it.

I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading “I don’t get it.”

Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. -Proverbs 15:22, NLT I had contrasting experiences with two Christian couples who offered me counsel during and after my divorce. The first couple were a disaster for my marriage. They picked sides and pushed my Cheater towards divorce. The contempt towards me in those … Continue reading “Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors”

Souls are eternal, not marriages.

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls are eternal, not marriages.”

On “forsaking”

forsake verb: to renounce or turn away from entirely On “…forsaking all others….” When we make this vow at the altar, we are ACTIVELY committing and vowing to give up other partners. It is a commitment that is only beginning that day as it must be renewed each day by each spouse. A wise spouse recognizes … Continue reading “On “forsaking””

Could have gone differently!

A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation. A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way. That was the expectation, actually–i.e. a lifelong, faithful relationship. I think … Continue reading “Could have gone differently!”

Nary an apology!

When cheating happens, it damages more than just the marriage. It also destroys “friendships” as well. I have no problem questioning how Christian someone is who supports a Cheater over the faithful spouse while fully knowing of the infidelity. Minimally, they are NOT friendship material for the faithful spouse. Further, such people have different values … Continue reading “Nary an apology!”