“I can’t pretend anymore!” declares Cheater. This declaration is usually followed by some sort of blame-shift onto the faithful spouse where Cheater attacks the marriage and devalues their spouse. They are the hero in their mind living their “truth” and unwilling to play pretend in their marriage anymore! The irony is that they are lying … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I can’t pretend anymore.””
Category: Cheating
Beware: You are vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Beware: You are vulnerable!”
Not about caring about self too little!
Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good! -Psalm 14:1, NLT Cheaters do not become Cheaters because they are selfless creatures sacrificing what they want for others. Any Cheater feeding you this sort of narrative is VERY self-deceived! There … Continue reading “Not about caring about self too little!”
Unbidden memories
Sometimes the memories resurface at the strangest times. That’s the nature of grief. It ambushes and goes at its own speed. And the difficult memories are not the hard ones. They are the “good” memories. Those memories are the hardest for me, at least. “Good” memories drive home the thought that something worthwhile was truly … Continue reading “Unbidden memories”
PSA: Not abuse to insist on the ending of cheating!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): It is not abuse to insist the cheater end the affair! Someone needs to see this. Cheaters will pull out all stops to make the faithful spouse look like the bad person. Insisting the affair end is a healthy boundary. It is respectful. You are simply refusing to accept ongoing infidelity … Continue reading “PSA: Not abuse to insist on the ending of cheating!”
Excuse for abuse? No. None.
I am convinced adultery is always abusive. Always. You cannot cheat on a spouse without abusing their trust minimally. Plus, I have yet to discover a story involving adultery where a period of deception did not take place–however, brief. In addition to that, I believe based on my reading of Scripture that adultery is soul … Continue reading “Excuse for abuse? No. None.”
Alluring Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given to faithful spouses about forgiveness as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses of the importance of … Continue reading “Alluring Premature Forgiveness”
Pick vulnerable time
Cheaters are known to blow up the home life during a time of vulnerability for the faithful partner. This might be during a time of financial vulnerability where you are trying to launch your career or were a stay at home parent for a long time. This might come when you are ill or even … Continue reading “Pick vulnerable time”
Hates “workers of iniquity?!”
5 The boastful shall not stand in Your sight; You hate all workers of iniquity. 6 You shall destroy those who speak falsehood; The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. -Psalm 5:5-6, NKJV “Hate” is a strong word. Yet this is the word the Psalmist uses to describe how God feels about “ALL” who work wickedness. The picture in these verses … Continue reading “Hates “workers of iniquity?!””
Cheater-Speak: “You’ve deceived your closest family and friends.”
“You’ve deceived your closest friends and family into thinking you’re a good person,” says Cheater. The irony of such a statement is how the Cheater is actually the one who has done this, NOT the faithful spouse! They have played their cards close to their vest. Cheated and lied for months or years including to … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “You’ve deceived your closest family and friends.””