“I really hope he didn’t feel uncomfortable with anything,” says Cheater. “What about my comfort with how things are? Why are you more concerned about him than me, your husband?” says faithful spouse. Being a good host is one thing. Taking a particular guest’s opinion and comfort into consideration OVER your spouse’s is another thing. … Continue reading “Misplaced Concern”
Category: Cheating
Done to provoke
Just because your Cheater attends marriage counseling does NOT mean they really want to work on themselves and the marriage. They might be there to provoke you with a witness. Then they can label you crazy or angry as “justification” for their discard. Cheaters are not above using therapy or pastoral counseling to manage their … Continue reading “Done to provoke”
Cheater Rage Shield
If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Cheater Rage Shield I wonder if you ever experienced your Cheater seeming to get angrier the less … Continue reading “Cheater Rage Shield”
So focused on your alleged faults
“Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” -Matthew 7:5, NLT Cheaters are “good” at pointing the finger at the faithful spouse. They will dredge up the tiniest things and blow them up to catastrophic proportions to … Continue reading “So focused on your alleged faults”
Cheater Overflow
21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you. -Mark 7:21-23, NLT Cheaters usually will try to point the finger at anyone other than themselves. The challenge … Continue reading “Cheater Overflow”
Hard Holidays
Holidays can be hard! I just want to acknowledge that. This time of year can be difficult for those of us who are experiencing the traumatic ending of a marriage. They are seasons that bring the loses in focus. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to NOT be okay. Your feelings are … Continue reading “Hard Holidays”
Pining after Cheater-Ex?
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after Cheater-Ex?”
Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!
No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. -Job 2:13b, NIV Forgiveness does NOT erase the effects of trauma! You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!”
He is right…
He is right that you do not control him… …BUT you do control whether you stay in relationship with him! This is one of life’s hardest lessons to learn: I only control me. It is especially hard to accept when we wish a loved one would behave differently. Cheaters are big on telling us that … Continue reading “He is right…”
Please do NOT date while still married
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “Please do NOT date while still married”