Category: Cheating

Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?

“How to respond when both spouses in a marriage have committed adultery; and remain impenitent.  Should you maintain a friendship with both, either, or neither?” –Iwoots Dear Iwoots, What does the Bible have to say about such a situation? But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims … Continue reading “Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?”

Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.”

Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.””

Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!

“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!”

They already think they are special.

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their specialness. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind when dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “They already think they are special.”

Another alleged cheating megachurch pastor: Tavner Smith of Venue Church

“Smith said he are ‘great friends’ with the employee but not ‘sexually involved.’ He admitted the two had kissed, but only after they stopped living with their spouses …. ‘As long as she is still married, we are not going to have any type of romantic relations,’ he said.” -Anugrah Kumar, “Audio of Venue Church … Continue reading “Another alleged cheating megachurch pastor: Tavner Smith of Venue Church”

Do not call it “a mistake!”

Cheating on a spouse is not just “a mistake.” We all make mistakes. True. No one is perfect. However, plenty of people never commit adultery. Many people are not involved in raping their spouse’s soul. Plenty of individuals do not live double lives or engage in concerted gas-lighting behavior to keep their spouse from believing the … Continue reading “Do not call it “a mistake!””

Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!”

Choose not to enter their warped reality!

There is more hope for fools     than for people who think they are wise.  –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie….   –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Choose not to enter their warped reality!”