“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse”
Category: Cheating
Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently
TerKeust, who has five children, said she believes the “wisest (and hardest) choice I can make is to stop fighting to save my marriage of 29 years and, instead, accept reality.” -from “Lysa TerKeurst announces divorce after battling to save marriage, standing ‘firm’ in faith despite pain” by Leah MarieAnn Klett in The Christian Post, Sunday, January … Continue reading “Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently”
Demonic Component of Cheating
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. -I Peter 5:8, NKJV When I speak of the demonic and cheating, I want to be clear. I do NOT believe or support the idea of a cheater being a mere victim of the demonic. … Continue reading “Demonic Component of Cheating”
Cheater Martyr
“Let’s separate. I think that would be best for us both to heal,” says Cheater. Some cheaters will attempt to cloak their sins in robes of nobility. They will profess mutual benefit while using such as a cover to betray they spouse. That is just how some cheaters “roll.” They play the long-suffering martyr. However, … Continue reading “Cheater Martyr”
“C’mon, man, you MUST have known!” says Anxious Outsider.
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” -Anxious Outsider “Come on, man! You must have known she was cheating on you!” -Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know … Continue reading ““C’mon, man, you MUST have known!” says Anxious Outsider.”
Forgiveness does not work if the person won’t stay to receive it
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV It is hard to give someone a gift when they are running away from you. This is the picture of someone who is unwilling to repent and turn to you for the gift of forgiveness. They are not in a position to receive the gift. … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not work if the person won’t stay to receive it”
Darkness cannot overcome Light!
And this Light never fails to shine through darkness— Light that darkness could not overcome. -John 1:5, TPT Sometimes we need reminders. When we are surrounded by the darkness, it is good to remember that God’s light overcomes the darkness. Always. The darkness does not win. It cannot overcome the light. This is the hope … Continue reading “Darkness cannot overcome Light!”
Divorce grief and the community
Divorce impacts a community. Like the sin of adultery, it is not a private affair (see Deut. 22:22). The divorce hits the whole network of relationships. It is painful to face the reality that a couple is no longer a couple. This is doubly so when you like and connected with both spouses. This way of … Continue reading “Divorce grief and the community”
Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.”
Marriage stress does NOT cause infidelity!
Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage stress does NOT cause infidelity!”