Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to terms…”
Category: Cheating
Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness”
Yesterday, I came across an interesting article about forgiveness and trauma care from a mental health provider, Anastasia Pollock, LCMHC. It is entitled: “Why I Don’t Use the Word ‘Forgiveness’ in Trauma Therapy” Pollock writes, As soon as I say, “You don’t have to forgive,” the person usually breathes a sigh of relief. Once we … Continue reading “Trauma of adultery and resource reframing “forgiveness””
Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Cheating as a way to manipulate the faithful spouse”
Addicted to the sexual attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing a cheater … Continue reading “Addicted to the sexual attention”
How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!
Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. – 1 Timothy 1:18-19, … Continue reading “How to avoid shipwrecking your faith!”
Cheater-Speak: “That’s not my truth.”
“That’s not my truth! God wants me to be happy,” cries an exposed Cheater. Cheaters are big on trying to control how people percieve them. They will go through all sort of word-gymnastics to avoid the real truth. When someone dares to point out what they are doing is sin, they will twist the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “That’s not my truth.””
Some just love the darkness.
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Some just love the darkness.”
We are actually commanded to judge!
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin…. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:11a, 12, NLT Adultery certainly qualifies as sexual sin. What does the … Continue reading “We are actually commanded to judge!”
“For the marriage” pastoral stance issues
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Issues With “For the Marriage” Pastoral Stance Sometimes, pastors, you cannot both be … Continue reading ““For the marriage” pastoral stance issues”
Nineveh’s lesson on forgiveness
“The people of Nineveh will stand up against this generation on judgment day and condemn it, for they repented of their sins at the preaching of Jonah. Now someone greater than Jonah is here–but you refuse to repent.” -Matthew 12:41, NLT Does repentance seem necessary for forgiveness (and salvation) according to these words from Jesus … Continue reading “Nineveh’s lesson on forgiveness”