Category: Cheating

Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…

Dear DM, If adultery breaks and destroys the marriage covenant, what happens to couples who don’t divorce, forgiveness is shown, and then go on to reconcile? Does the marriage covenant just magically become whole again after it was destroyed? It’s all so confusing. Thank you. -Hett Dear Hett, Thanks for your questions. As these were … Continue reading “Dear DM, What happens to the marriage covenant if…”

Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?

Greetings DM. Your blog is so comforting for those that have been soul raped and beaten up by the Church, but I must admit that I’m in a kind of a dissonant situation, I was my whole Christian life taught that adultery break the marriage covenant, abandonment and in my very particular vision violence do … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is a marriage covenant always in effect while the cheater lives?”

CHEATERS ARE DEFYING GOD

“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “CHEATERS ARE DEFYING GOD”

“Kid” glove approach because the cheater is a woman

“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her,     for she is not my wife,     and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face     and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV Pastors and other Christian counselors have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female cheaters. It is a kid gloves … Continue reading ““Kid” glove approach because the cheater is a woman”

Lack of self-esteem? Really?!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV While a cheater might blame their cheating on a lack of self-esteem, I find this excuse rather lame. They “esteemed” themselves so much that they took or gave what did not belong … Continue reading “Lack of self-esteem? Really?!”

Let’s call it what it is: Adultery!

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, KJV Adultery is… “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.” -from dictionary.com Cheaters are all about making up their own private definitions of adultery or cheating. Those “definitions” exist to “excuse” inexcusable, sinful behavior. A cheater might say such … Continue reading “Let’s call it what it is: Adultery!”

An ode to self-respect: “Babe” by Sugerland

I admire those faithful spouses who were able to enforce their boundaries with “just” one revelation of infidelity. These rare souls know they deserve to be treated better. And they have no problems enforcing their “deal-breakers” as in “You cheat on me, and we are over. Period.” And for those who come here that are … Continue reading “An ode to self-respect: “Babe” by Sugerland”

Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session

Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session”

When all seems lost, cling to God.

Some songs can invoke a time in our lives with just a few notes. This song, “You Won’t Relent,” by Misty Edwards does that for me. It transports me back to the immediate time after my divorce. The devastation of an unwanted divorce is incredible. I think this is especially true for those of us … Continue reading “When all seems lost, cling to God.”