Category: Emotional Affair

Bigger than just “squeaky floors”

Cheater apologists are quick to point at the flaws in the marriage and blame the faithful spouse “for their part.” This is foolishness parading as wisdom. Sometimes metaphors help us understand how foolish some things actually are: The marriage is a house. This house has needed updates. For example, it needs new windows, a fresh … Continue reading “Bigger than just “squeaky floors””

How did you get that information?

“How did you get that information?” asks Cheater. A Cheater who responds this way is a Cheater still committed to her sins. She is not repentant. This is a question about how she got exposed. It is about Cheater damage control. There’s a leak! The problem isn’t her behavior. For her, the problem is you knowing about … Continue reading “How did you get that information?”

Not seeing the problem is a problem!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman:     She eats and wipes her mouth     and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV The “Not a Problem” Problem Some cheaters are so far gone that they genuinely see no problem in cheating. They have believed the lies “justifying” their wicked sins. This is a problem. … Continue reading “Not seeing the problem is a problem!”

Emotional Affair? When does it cross the line?

An emotional affair? How can you tell? When does it cross the line? Cheaters are infamous for admitting to an emotional affair before or instead of a physical affair. Because pastors and others are poor at holding them accountable for their own actions, this opens the door for them to blame–essentially–the faithful spouse for such … Continue reading “Emotional Affair? When does it cross the line?”

Injustice cries out to God!

The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.” -Genesis 4:10, NIV From the beginning, God has cared about the victimized. He cares about justice as He is just! A real struggle in marriage infidelity situations is being seen and not blamed. The injustice of the situation … Continue reading “Injustice cries out to God!”

Feeling like used, discarded tissue

“I felt like a used piece of tissue paper. Just thrown away in the trash.”  – Vineyard pastor The quote might not be exact. However, I will never forget the thrust of what she said. The message was unmistakable. This brave pastoral spouse shared to a young Vineyard Church about her experience of being sexually … Continue reading “Feeling like used, discarded tissue”

Hosea Exception, NOT Rule!

When the Lord began to speak by Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea: “Go, take yourself a wife of harlotry And children of harlotry, For the land has committed great harlotry By departing from the Lord.”  – Hosea 1:2, NKJV What strikes me as in the last post is how biblically educated men can miss how this was a very special call upon … Continue reading “Hosea Exception, NOT Rule!”

Marriage resurrection is a miracle, not normal outcome.

 ….but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.” -Mark 16:6, NLT Resurrection is unexpected. It is not how things normally go. This is in part why Jesus coming back from … Continue reading “Marriage resurrection is a miracle, not normal outcome.”

Too much and too little patience

You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship. -I  Corinthians 5:2, NLT In my experience, Christians often have too much patience for Cheaters and too little for their victims–i.e. faithful spouses. Cheaters are given chance after chance to repent. … Continue reading “Too much and too little patience”