Category: Emotional Affair

Hardened

But this time also Pharaoh hardened his heart and would not let the people go. -Exodus 8:32, NIV The reality of one’s powerlessness is one of the most difficult aspects of going through an unwanted divorce.  Yet this very real powerlessness can serve as a comfort after the fact! As an introspective person, I find … Continue reading “Hardened”

When the “dog” poos in your bed…

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4, NASB When the dog* poops in your bed, do you respond by telling your dog… “You’re such a good boy!” No? I suspect you do not spend time trying … Continue reading “When the “dog” poos in your bed…”

Dear DM, I read Piper’s book and thought I had to stay in my marriage.

Hi DM – Today was rough for me. A woman at my church asked how I was, and I answered where things are at…awful and that court is next month. Once she learned we were actually divorcing and not just staying separated she shared her stand that divorce is always sin, and how God hates … Continue reading “Dear DM, I read Piper’s book and thought I had to stay in my marriage.”

PSA: The Doormat Is NOT the High Ground!

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate … Continue reading “PSA: The Doormat Is NOT the High Ground!”

Adultery Is a Bigger Problem Than Just One Sexual Act!

“‘But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person….’”  – Jesus in Matthew 15:18-20a, NIV. While one act of adultery is horrible enough, I suspect … Continue reading “Adultery Is a Bigger Problem Than Just One Sexual Act!”

Shake Off Their Dust!

 And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. -Luke 9:5, KJV Jesus gave us a ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18), yet Jesus told His Disciples to move on if this ministry was rejected! Cheaters reject godly reconciliation … Continue reading “Shake Off Their Dust!”

My Evangelical Marriage Helpline Experience

Calling the Focus on the Family® Helpline When the Other Man was revealed to me, I called a helpline to figure out my next steps. Specifically, I called the Focus on the Family® Helpline (1-855-771-HELP (4357)). It actually was supportive for me. My mother had called earlier and had a very bad experience with the … Continue reading “My Evangelical Marriage Helpline Experience”

Two Practical Strategies for Peace

“…and the truth shall make you free.” -John 8:32b, KJV Two Practical Strategies for Peace When I was recovering from my divorce from my cheater, two particular strategies helped me the most. 1. Identify the “handles,” “triggers,” or otherwise unwanted labels/identities that you vehemently are trying to avoid. An effective manipulator is able to hone … Continue reading “Two Practical Strategies for Peace”

Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT For those who are unfamiliar, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) is a–if not THE— major professional association for marriage therapists in the United States.  You can read their ethics statement by clicking (here). Today’s post … Continue reading “Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT”