Why am I not “healed” already? -Faithful Spouse So, it has been a year since you discovered your spouse was cheating on you. You are wondering why you still get “triggered” and feel incredibly anxious. Speaking from personal experience and working with faithful spouses, this is a fairly usual response to infidelity discovery. Your world … Continue reading “Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?”
Category: Emotional Affair
Cheaters and their wicked nature
Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. -I Samuel 25:3, KJV This verse comes at the … Continue reading “Cheaters and their wicked nature”
Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?
Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are the “Adultery Preventing” Christian marriage seminars?”
Raging Over Things, Not Relationships
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -MATHEW 6:21, NIV Things are temporary. Relationships–broken or otherwise–and people exist forever. These basic spiritual truths are often lost on cheaters. They are so consumed with their “rights” and the devaluing of their partners that they fail to see what matters eternally. After all, … Continue reading “Raging Over Things, Not Relationships”
Opposite Gender Friends Possible?
Do I believe heterosexually married people can have opposite gendered friends? Yes and No. Plenty of faithful spouses who come here know the pitfalls of such “friendships.” We know how these relationships are sold as innocent by cheaters–and they may have been at one time–yet they are far from innocent in reality. I do believe such friendships … Continue reading “Opposite Gender Friends Possible?”
FACT: CHEATERS ARE MARRIAGE FLUNKIES!
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments) Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “FACT: CHEATERS ARE MARRIAGE FLUNKIES!”
“Not Sorry” Looks Like a List!
How do you know if your cheater is truly repentant? Well, if he or she responds to being exposed by sharing a list of your “short-comings,” then the cheater is not likely repentant. The cheater might even agree that what he or she did was wrong. However, that acknowledgment is brushed aside so that he … Continue reading ““Not Sorry” Looks Like a List!”
Pro-Tip: If they are encouraging you to welcome others’ attention…
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” -Job 31:1, NLT An adage among fidelity website(s) is how if a spouse suggests living in an “open marriage” that you already are in one. This same wisdom applies–in my opinion–to situations where a cheater suggests the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: If they are encouraging you to welcome others’ attention…”
Cheaters and “Cheap Grace”
…cheap grace — “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Cheap grace wrongly separates absolution of sin from acknowledgment of that sin. -Katelyn Beaty, “The Mistake Christians Made in Defending Bill O’Reilly Cheaters and “cheap grace” Beaty’s article takes aim at some prominent conservatives and evangelical leaders. In particular, her article exposes the hypocrisy of … Continue reading “Cheaters and “Cheap Grace””
Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families
“He is from a ‘broken family.’” -Church-goer I was pondering this label the other day: “broken family.” Notice this label is rarely–if ever–used in Christian circles to denote a family where one parent dies. It is the euphemism of choice to describe families that have experienced divorce. I maintain that if we hesitate to use … Continue reading “Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families”