Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!”

“Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking

And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV What I find especially troubling is how some people will call some affairs … Continue reading ““Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking”

Crossed the line sexually with another man

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew 19:9, NIV   In my trial to keep my minister’s license, I will never forget how the leading denominational official behaved. I had submitted an email from my ex-wife where she confirmed a reference to … Continue reading “Crossed the line sexually with another man”

Fire Forged Friendship with God

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. -Isaiah 43:2, NLT What makes me so devoted to following Jesus? Like numerous … Continue reading “Fire Forged Friendship with God”

Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?

Why put the adultery victim on trial but not the cheater? One of the most backwards pieces in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license was how I was on trial for being cheated on and divorced by my ex-wife. Even after such cheating and abandonment was established (my ex-wife was the one insisting … Continue reading “Why put the adultery victim on trial for being victimized?”

What about our unmet needs?!

When couples go to other Christians or pastors for help, the usual line of conversation focuses upon the “unmet” needs of the cheater. The assumptions behind such conversations include: 1) the faithful spouse is to blame for the cheating (in part) and 2) the faithful spouse did not have unmet needs (or they would have … Continue reading “What about our unmet needs?!”

The Pastoral Affirmation Need

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. -Isaiah 42:3a, NIV Divorce Minister exists to a great part because it speaks to a need I felt in my darkest days. The need for pastoral affirmation and support while going through infidelity discovery and divorce. When my marriage was … Continue reading “The Pastoral Affirmation Need”

Gift of Courageous Confrontation

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT The path of least resistance with a cheater “friend” is to agree with their sob-story over how they “were driven” to cheat on their spouse. But that is NOT the … Continue reading “Gift of Courageous Confrontation”

Bravo: “Luv Guv” Bentley Bounced By Baptist Pastor

[Pastor] McKee asked [Former Governor] Bentley and Mason [Other Woman] to admit to the ongoing affair. They admitted a relationship, but refused to publicly confess, Hannah said. McKee then removed Bentley from his leadership roles in the church and asked Bentley and Mason to leave First Baptist Tuscaloosa. -Dakin Andone reporting (CNN) in “Alabama ‘Luv … Continue reading “Bravo: “Luv Guv” Bentley Bounced By Baptist Pastor”

Cheater-speak: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” -Cheater Whether or not the cheated intended to hurt the faithful spouse does not change the fact that they did! Such a statement from a cheater is more about caring for the cheater than it is about caring for the faithful spouse. The cheater is trying to protect their self-image … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.””