A pass given for emotional affairs too often

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:28, NIV Too often, emotional affairs are treated by Christians and professionals as symptoms as opposed to sins. Clearly, Jesus saw emotional affairs as sins. They were only symptomatic insofar as they are … Continue reading “A pass given for emotional affairs too often”

Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?

 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on docket of things to do in the … Continue reading “Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?”

Much Ado About VP Mike Pence Following “Billy Graham Rule”

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. -I Corinthians 6:18, NKJV The news and social media is abuzz with revelation that VP Mike Pence does not eat alone with women or attend events where alcohol is served without … Continue reading “Much Ado About VP Mike Pence Following “Billy Graham Rule””

My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15

  One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15: 14 For if you forgive other people when they … Continue reading “My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15”

Have you forgiven your ex?

“Have you forgiven your ex-wife?” -Inquiring Christian Let’s assume this person has not already passed judgment and condemned you as “bitter.” In other words, they are asking this question in good faith and out of genuine love for you. My response would be: What do you mean by “forgiven?” The answer to this question will … Continue reading “Have you forgiven your ex?”

Super Stupid and Divisive

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…. -Genesis 2:24a, NKJV Having a father-in-law (FIL) tell his son-in-law how he is “failing” as a husband and man–in general–is incredibly stupid and divisive on the part of the FIL. Something like that happened in my situation as I remember it. I look back on that … Continue reading “Super Stupid and Divisive”

Cheating Is Ultimate Entitlement Behavior!

If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV Ironically, cheaters have been known to act as if the faithful spouse is the selfish one in the marriage. They lack the insight … Continue reading “Cheating Is Ultimate Entitlement Behavior!”

I count three…

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” -Job 31:1, NLT Looking back upon old emails around the time of my marriage’s demise, I am struck by how little was made of–what I now consider–my (now ex) wife’s emotionally inappropriate relationships with other men. And it was not … Continue reading “I count three…”

Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.”

“[The Other Man/Woman] means nothing to me.” -Cheater It curious how cheaters are willing to throw away very meaningful things–at least, for some people–like their character and marriage vows for someone who they claim “means nothing” to them. My point is such statements coming from a cheater are lies. The cheater might believe them themselves. But … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.””

The Struggle to Let Go

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. -John 12:24, NIV Letting go of a marriage ravaged by infidelity is hard. I think it is made doubly so–unfortunately–in Christian communities because of all … Continue reading “The Struggle to Let Go”