Category: Emotional Affair

Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.”

“[The Other Man/Woman] means nothing to me.” -Cheater It curious how cheaters are willing to throw away very meaningful things–at least, for some people–like their character and marriage vows for someone who they claim “means nothing” to them. My point is such statements coming from a cheater are lies. The cheater might believe them themselves. But … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.””

The Struggle to Let Go

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. -John 12:24, NIV Letting go of a marriage ravaged by infidelity is hard. I think it is made doubly so–unfortunately–in Christian communities because of all … Continue reading “The Struggle to Let Go”

Capable Versus Actual

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While every human being is a sinner, that does not mean every human being has committed the same sins. Capable does not mean actual. The divorce fear-mongers tell faithful spouses essentially not to hope for a future partner who treats … Continue reading “Capable Versus Actual”

Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].”

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV “Yes, I crossed the line sexually with [Other Man]. But I am not divorcing you because of [Other Man].” -Adulteress This is just another way of saying that the cheater is unwilling … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “But I am not divorcing you because of [The Other Man/Woman].””

Stupid, Ignorant Things Christians Say

After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a … Continue reading “Stupid, Ignorant Things Christians Say”

Silence Helps Evil

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV I am several years removed from my divorce and all the sinful, destructive shenanigans my cheating ex pulled. In fact, Mrs. DM and I will be observing our 3rd wedding anniversary later this month. So, why keep talking … Continue reading “Silence Helps Evil”

Like Sex Trafficking Victims

When it comes to Other Women or Other Men who are congregants of a preying pastor, I consider them in the same category as sex trafficking victims. True, they are involved in sinful sex acts, yet their situation ought to engender compassion towards them as opposed to censure. These individuals are exploited individuals.  They are … Continue reading “Like Sex Trafficking Victims”

Sometimes Seeing “Both Sides” Is Harmful, NOT Helpful!

 “You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV While people commit sins for a whole host of reasons, such reasoning does not make the sin less than sin. The Bible does not instruct us to understand our sin but rather to forsake it and repent! It is no wonder faithful spouses feel hurt by pastors … Continue reading “Sometimes Seeing “Both Sides” Is Harmful, NOT Helpful!”