I recently attended a conference where the speaker, Pastor Joel Brooks, said something that got me thinking. He was talking about the difference between the two kingdoms: God’s and Satan’s kingdoms. In particular, he pointed out ways humans engage in behavior that is opposite love. In one of the contrasts he drew, Pastor Brooks shared … Continue reading “Never the true focus of their affection”
Category: Emotional Affair
Emotional Affair Wierdness
Ever experienced a cheater deeply worried about another’s feelings? They are just trying to be a good “hostess.” In their mind, the most important thing is that this “friend” feels comfortable. They want their approval. What is NOT important to this person is how their spouse feels or thinks! This is a tell-tale sign that … Continue reading “Emotional Affair Wierdness”
Cheating to “benefit” the marriage!
“I cheated as a cry for help,” says Cheater. “This will just make us better in the end, and you’ll thank me in the end,” says Cheater. A cheater claiming that the cheating will make the marriage better is a very delusion character, indeed! The sad thing is some pastors and therapists will agree with … Continue reading “Cheating to “benefit” the marriage!”
Triggered: “Open and honest”
“We need to have open and honest communication,” says Cheater. When I hear the phrase “open and honest,” I am slightly triggered. It sends me back to the conflict with my ex-wife as our marriage ended. The words aren’t bad in and of themselves. Such a goal for communication is admirable. We want to be … Continue reading “Triggered: “Open and honest””
Run towards or away?
His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” -Job 2:9, MSG When the calamity of infidelity discovery strikes, we have two option: 1) Allow the sins of “man” drive us away from God with a curse. Or 2) Run to God as our only … Continue reading “Run towards or away?”
Cheating is abuse. It is not morally neutral behavior.
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Cheating is abuse. It is not morally neutral behavior.”
Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?
“Did you ever love her?” OR “Did you ever love him?” This is such a simply stated question. However, it is far from simple when applied to a cheater. Looking back on the marriage and how it ended, it is complicated. How can you say you ever loved someone who revealed they were utterly different … Continue reading “Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?”
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”
Messy openness
The lips of the wise give good advice; the heart of a fool has none to give. -Proverbs 15:7, NLT When I was desperate to stop my first marriage from ending, I made the mistake of opening myself up to too many people. It was messy. I think part of this mistake was born of … Continue reading “Messy openness”
Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists
“But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the Lord Almighty. -Malachi 2:8, NIV More than one of my (now) ex-wife’s family members took it upon themselves to lecture me about how I needed to be a better Christian and … Continue reading “Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists”