“If we stayed married, you’d always hold this over my head,” says Cheater. Cheater Concern About You Never “Getting Over It” What I find interesting about this response is how the Cheater shows he or she understands the infidelity has forever impacted the marriage. They understand that they cannot go back to how things were. … Continue reading “Cheater concern about you never “getting over it.””
Category: Emotional Affair
Preying on your desperation
After discovering infidelity, I bet many of us went into overdrive to figure out how to “save” our marriages. It is the rare faithful spouse who refuses to demean themselves further by chasing after the cheater (and the marriage) immediately. Especially, as a Christian, I think it is rare to level consequences at the start … Continue reading “Preying on your desperation”
Remember: God’s got you!
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. -Proverbs 29:25, NIV People will likely talk. Sure. Even–maybe especially–“Christian” people with issues with you getting a divorce from your cheater. However… Do not allow the “fear of man” to paralyze you. That fear is what will get you snared in … Continue reading “Remember: God’s got you!”
When a cheater claims the marriage was “toxic”
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Did I miss something? When I read this verse–part of the Ten Commandments–I don’t see where it says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery unless [you believe] your marriage is a toxic relationship.” I don’t see it because it is NOT there! This is an especially lame cheater excuse or … Continue reading “When a cheater claims the marriage was “toxic””
Worthless Words
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NLT Please, faithful spouse, do not rely upon the words of your cheater for your identity (or healing)! A cheater is a liar as one cannot cheat without lying. This calls all their words into question. Knowing this about them … Continue reading “Worthless Words”
Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Restored, godly marriages resurrected after the destruction of adultery are rare. Cheaters would have to change character for this to happen. Such change is painful and hard. That is not the path most cheaters take. Shortcuts are … Continue reading “Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!”
Adultery is always sin!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV So much energy is often spent trying to “understand” why a cheater cheated. Such energy–especially in churches–is better spent teaching what the Bible teaches–namely, adultery is ALWAYS unacceptable. Circumstances matter not. Adultery is ALWAYS sin. I wonder how many marriages would have been saved this trauma (and … Continue reading “Adultery is always sin!”
“Fireproof” teaches toleration and enabling of marital infidelity!
For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. – 2 Timothy 4:3, NLT Around 2010, a major marital craze went through the American, evangelical church … Continue reading ““Fireproof” teaches toleration and enabling of marital infidelity!”
Stopping is NOT enough!
When a cheater stops the affair, this is not enough. They need to take further action. It is like an alcoholic who stops drinking. This is good. However, the alcoholic who is not actively dealing with their issues connected to drinking is not in recovery. A cheater who does not deal with the lies he … Continue reading “Stopping is NOT enough!”
Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.”
“Why did you take off your wedding ring?” asks Faithful Spouse. “I needed a break from reminders of our marriage,” says Cheater. Cheaters freely entered into the marriage–and marriage means a lifelong commitment. You do not get breaks from needing to honor this commitment. This sort of response from a Cheater seeking “a break” is … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.””