When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), you likely only know a small part of the deception and infidelity. They have been at this deception for a while. What you know now is a fractured partial of the story, and they have demonstrated an unwillingness to clue … Continue reading “Recognize the “tip” of the “Cheating Iceberg””
Category: Emotional Affair
A decade of changes
A decade ago, I was about to depart to cross half the country for my residency in Chaplaincy. I had just discovered the Other Man who had been part of the picture for months prior to my knowledge. The summer of 2012 was a highly unpleasant summer for me. It felt hopeless, honestly. My marriage … Continue reading “A decade of changes”
Do not feed Cheater contempt!
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Do not feed Cheater contempt!”
Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper
In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless! -Ecclesiastes 8:14b, NLT These words seem like they were written today and not as they were–i.e. thousands of years earlier! I bet many here can relate to … Continue reading “Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper”
Entrust Your Situation To God
He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. -I Peter 2:23, NLT The secret to dealing with injustice is remembering a higher court exists and we know its Judge is good. Faith in this Judge allows … Continue reading “Entrust Your Situation To God”
Totally seared
Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron…. -I Timothy 4:2, KJV Hypocritical liars will deceive many, and their consciences won’t bother them at all! -I Timothy 4:2, TPT While this verse is really about false teachers leading people astray, I think it applies to cheaters as well. This verse reminds … Continue reading “Totally seared”
God did not fail as the head of the marriage!
She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…. -Ephesians 5:23a, KJV When pastors and elders choose to blame marriages ending on men failing as “spiritual heads,” I would like them to … Continue reading “God did not fail as the head of the marriage!”
“Exit Affair” Minimization
“We both know our marriage was in trouble for years. The affair wasn’t really the issue. It was just an exit affair.” -Cheater I hate how people minimize the damage of adultery by labeling some affairs: “exit affairs.” Does it make it less of a sin in God’s eyes if it was an “exit affair?” … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” Minimization”
God-sized Cheater Problem
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “God-sized Cheater Problem”
Counts as cheating?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:27-28, NIV “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew … Continue reading “Counts as cheating?”