Forgiveness or denial?

“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light.  It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Forgiveness or denial?”

The Physical

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Physical Affair vs Emotional Affair Both are cheating and awful for the faithful spouse. They both cause incredible damage to the to the point of destroying the very … Continue reading “The Physical”

Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff

Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”

Using cheating as manipulation

“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Using cheating as manipulation”

Addicted to the romantic attention

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Addicted to the romantic attention”

Loving darkness

And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Loving darkness”

Ridiculously weak responses

“I’m praying for you guys,” says well-meaning Christian “friend.” “But she is cheating on me,” exclaims faithful husband. “I don’t want to take sides,” says well-meaning Christian “friend.”  This person is NOT a true friend. They were just informed about the cheating, and they punted on caring for the abused party. That is not friend … Continue reading “Ridiculously weak responses”

You are praying for her? Right?

“You’re praying for her, right?” asks Concerned Christian. “Actually, I decided to follow the Apostle Paul’s example regarding Alexander in 2 Timothy as that seems more applicable to my situation,” replies Faithful Spouse. ___ You need to know that Alexander,the jeweler, has done me great harm. May our Lord give him what he deserves for all … Continue reading “You are praying for her? Right?”