3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV A divorced pastor is an asset. Some churches … Continue reading “A divorced pastor is an asset.”
Category: Emotional Affair
Sucked back into their chaos
Cheaters are “gifted” in sucking you back into their chaos. If you spent years allowing your Cheater to do what they wanted, it is hard to change that dynamic. It is difficult to stand up for oneself and hold to appropriate boundaries. They will test your boundaries. It is what they do. For example, you … Continue reading “Sucked back into their chaos”
So Freaking Selfish!
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT So FREAKING Selfish! Cheaters are so very self-centered and self-serving. Even after getting caught, they will continue make choices to sooth their own desires. It is symptomatic of their sick hearts. Sometimes, it is hard to … Continue reading “So Freaking Selfish!”
Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.”
“I just needed a break from our marriage,” says Cheater. There is no “Pause” button on the marriage covenant. You are either honoring or dishonoring your covenant commitments. No “Pause” option. Living as if one is not married is the ultimate living a lie for a spouse. It is treating one’s spouse with contempt and … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.””
How dare we? Ha.
How dare we object to being humiliated by our Cheater?! How dare we object to our Cheater dirty dancing with someone else?! How dare we object to our Cheater taking another partner as their plus one?! How dare we object to our Cheater bad mouthing us to our “friends?!” Cheaters treat faithful spouses as the … Continue reading “How dare we? Ha.”
Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?
“Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” I hate that question. It is a “Loaded Question”–meaning it assumes you did something to destroy your marriage. Such questions are errors in reasoning–i.e. logical fallacies. While the question looks reasonable, it is really just a dressed up version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” … Continue reading “Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?”
The Confession Manipulation
So, your Cheater confesses to an affair. That’s a good first step to repentance, right?! Maybe…. Sadly, Cheaters can use confessions as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse. They try to contain the damage while blaming the faithful spouse for their sins. This is especially the case when the only confession is a confession … Continue reading “The Confession Manipulation”
Not all equal
My (now) ex and I went to a couple who were lay ministers. That was a mistake (if the goal was to avoid divorce). They were well-meaning people, but they were also very wrong in assessing our situation. Instead of focusing on my ex’s need to truly repent and repair our marriage due to her … Continue reading “Not all equal”
Acting entitled to your help
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, But a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them. -Proverbs 27:3, NKJV Have you ever noticed that Cheaters can’t be bothered to help you when you need it? However, they demand that you drop everything when they “need” something from you? They are such entitled creatures. And they can be cruel about … Continue reading “Acting entitled to your help”
Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.”
“I just want open and honest communication,” says Cheater. Do Cheaters really want honesty and openness? No way! Cheating is no fun when you are faced with consequences that come with open honesty with your victim–i.e. the faithful spouse. Two-sided openness is such a drag for those committed to a lifestyle of deception. When Cheaters say that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.””