“I love you, but I am not IN LOVE WITH you,” says lame Cheater. OR “I never loved you,” says cruel Cheater. Notice how these statements are all about the Cheater’s feelings. That is what is important to them. To be fair, they may have never loved you as they were not capable of loving … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I love you, but I am not IN LOVE WITH you.””
Category: Emotional Affair
Only leverage
The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Only leverage”
PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies–i.e. that they “had to” cheat. The cheater did … Continue reading “PSA: They did not “have to” cheat!”
Sick toying Cheaters
Some cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. With this knowledge, they toy with the faithful spouse taking … Continue reading “Sick toying Cheaters”
If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…
If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings,” then they aren’t bothering the Cheater. This is a classic move by Cheaters. They convince the pastor or other helper to focus upon the faithful spouse and their so called “shortcomings.” The faithful spouse takes the hit as they might be terrified of the marriage ending. It is … Continue reading “If everyone is focused on your “shortcomings”…”
A divorced pastor is an asset.
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV A divorced pastor is an asset. Some churches … Continue reading “A divorced pastor is an asset.”
Sucked back into their chaos
Cheaters are “gifted” in sucking you back into their chaos. If you spent years allowing your Cheater to do what they wanted, it is hard to change that dynamic. It is difficult to stand up for oneself and hold to appropriate boundaries. They will test your boundaries. It is what they do. For example, you … Continue reading “Sucked back into their chaos”
So Freaking Selfish!
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT So FREAKING Selfish! Cheaters are so very self-centered and self-serving. Even after getting caught, they will continue make choices to sooth their own desires. It is symptomatic of their sick hearts. Sometimes, it is hard to … Continue reading “So Freaking Selfish!”
Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.”
“I just needed a break from our marriage,” says Cheater. There is no “Pause” button on the marriage covenant. You are either honoring or dishonoring your covenant commitments. No “Pause” option. Living as if one is not married is the ultimate living a lie for a spouse. It is treating one’s spouse with contempt and … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.””
How dare we? Ha.
How dare we object to being humiliated by our Cheater?! How dare we object to our Cheater dirty dancing with someone else?! How dare we object to our Cheater taking another partner as their plus one?! How dare we object to our Cheater bad mouthing us to our “friends?!” Cheaters treat faithful spouses as the … Continue reading “How dare we? Ha.”