Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.”

“I just want open and honest communication,” says Cheater. Do Cheaters really want honesty and openness? No way! Cheating is no fun when you are faced with consequences that come with open honesty with your victim–i.e. the faithful spouse. Two-sided openness is such a drag for those committed to a lifestyle of deception. When Cheaters say that … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want open and honest communication.””

Blaming their misery on you!

“Can’t you see that I am ‘dying’ here!” says dramatic Cheater. Some Cheaters want to make you responsible for their happiness or misery. They refuse responsibility for their own feelings. The danger arises when we believe them and accept such responsibility, which isn’t ours to carry. We do not have the power to control the … Continue reading “Blaming their misery on you!”

Somehow I was wrong?!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading “Somehow I was wrong?!”

Okay to admit being “not okay”

Walking in reality is good for our souls. Sometimes, that means admitting that we are “not okay.” But we can still hold hope that eventually we will be well. As we walk with Jesus, we know this is true. AND God can handle us being upset and “not okay” in the present. I love this … Continue reading “Okay to admit being “not okay””

Wondering… Do they?

I wonder… …do some Cheaters ever even consider they might be the problem. Of course, the usual course of these things is to externalize the problem. They blame their spouse. Or they might blame the affair partner. Another candidate might be the stresses of work. Cheaters have a long list of things or people to blame … Continue reading “Wondering… Do they?”

Meditating on Psalm 89:14

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;     love and faithfulness go before you. -Psalm 89:14, NIV I believe adultery is affront to the very throne or authority of God. As the Psalmist states here, we see love and faithfulness as linked to the symbol of God’s authority–i.e. His throne. Adultery is the opposite … Continue reading “Meditating on Psalm 89:14”