“I forgive you.” Are these words always a good thing to hear? Are they always spoken as an expression of virtue or can they conceal venom? When you are dealing with a spiritually abusive individual, these are words they may use to continue the abuse. They are hijacking the concept of “forgiveness” to put you … Continue reading ““I forgive you.””
Category: Forgiveness
NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine”
“Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” … Continue reading ““Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People”
And then they are nothing more than a footnote
I want to encourage those who are recent arrivals to this digital shore. It does get better. The sharp, intense emotional pain does lessen over time. Thoughts of your cheater become less and less as you heal. In fact, one day–I don’t know when it will be for you–you will wake up and spend a … Continue reading “And then they are nothing more than a footnote”
Three Key Points for Pastors on Adultery Situations
-3 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ADULTERY- 1. ADULTERY IS SOUL RAPE! The Bible is clear about the principle about how a married couple is no longer two individuals in a spiritual sense but are actually one (see Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, I Corinthians 6:15-18, etc). Following from this oneness principle of marriage, any … Continue reading “Three Key Points for Pastors on Adultery Situations”
Pursue them? Jesus did?
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV Christians are notorious for assuming the right course of action is pursuit when dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “Pursue them? Jesus did?”
Bitterness or Anger Over Injustices?
God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Christians are quick to judge faithful spouses as “bitter” without pausing to consider another–more likely–origin of such strong anger: Injustice. To be angry at injustice is a good and godly response to have. It is not “bitterness” but … Continue reading “Bitterness or Anger Over Injustices?”
Forgiveness as faith test
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. -Psalm 18:6b-7, NIV Can I trust God with my hurt? I think the answer to this question answering the question of whether or not … Continue reading “Forgiveness as faith test”
Forgiven, yet not?
Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. -I Peter 3:18a, NLT You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven. This is a paradoxical truth about forgiveness. Both are true. You have truly forgiven your cheater. However, … Continue reading “Forgiven, yet not?”
Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses
After the Lord had said these things to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has….” -Job 42:7, NIV Over and over, I see two common pastoral errors in “helping” faithful spouses. They … Continue reading “Two greatest pastoral errors towards faithful spouses”