Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV How forgiving was Jesus to the Pharisees? Jesus understood that some people wanted nothing to do with his forgiveness. They were self-righteous, and in their minds, they needed none of his. This is the usual crowd of cheaters. They often behave like Pharisees. Some are especially … Continue reading “Damaging approaches to faithful spouses”
Category: Forgiveness
Forgiveness can only happen with wrongs acknowledged
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “Forgiveness can only happen with wrongs acknowledged”
Jonah’s Nineveh: Models Real Repentance
7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “Jonah’s Nineveh: Models Real Repentance”
Talking justice and forgivness
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “Talking justice and forgivness”
Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!”
Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!”
Beware of oversharing
Some people just cannot handle the souls of others well. The conversation where a faithful spouse spills their grief and pain results in a shaming exercise where the Christian listener warns the faithful spouse about bitterness and God’s hatred of divorce. I know I fell into the “oversharing trap” early in my marriage’s dissolution. Too … Continue reading “Beware of oversharing”
The Danger and Allure of Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given about forgiveness for faithful spouses as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses to forgive. I don’t … Continue reading “The Danger and Allure of Premature Forgiveness”
Theology of Forgiveness: Are cheaters forgiven without admitting wrongdoing?
Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God….” -Acts 2:37-38a, NLT Remember how Jesus asked God to forgive those crucifying him from the cross (see Luke 23:34)? These verses … Continue reading “Theology of Forgiveness: Are cheaters forgiven without admitting wrongdoing?”
“Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse”